A
female
age
41-50,
*uiceapple226
writes:please Help me!!! i have a secret!My name is Sunset. I have a secret and i hide it for my own sake, I dont want people judge me. I believe I deserve equal treatment, love and respect. I'm going insane every night to think what happened if they find out my secret. I cried most of night to think what im gonna do. But my instinct said be yourself and do what ever makes you happy. It's so hard...very very hard...Im thinking my future that im in lonely place and trying to be strong.I never been in highschool! maybe i was destined...its a long story but I try to share you guys my life when I was young. My mom stand as a mother and father when we grew up, my father is tosspot always drunk every day and night. My father work as a sweeper in the Government but not enough for our daily expenses. My mom work what my father job often every 1:00 am in the morning until 6:00 o'clock in the morning in the market with the wood cart to bring her kids. I remember my younger sister and brother slept in the cart while were doing cleaning. After the sweeping my mom take a nap for a little bit and then ready to sell fruits. I witness my mom sacrifices to my father and her kids. I remember after my eldest sister and brother finish in grade school we were separated. We're 7 kids and im in the middle. My oldest sister Flower shes working student in our relatives, the eldest sister Orchid was in our Aunty (sister of my mom). shes studying highschool in the private school but she dont slept in our house. Our house too small for all of us we cannot even stretch everytime we sleep and no blanket for every one and has dropping water from the rooftop every rainy day. My older brother Art go to Cebu also to working student of our relatives. everyone try to help ourself and experienced different struggle in our life and face the challenge as youth. growing up its not easy for me, I always get worst toothache every often and feet allergy. we dont have enough clothes( even underwear), slippers and things. But we ate 3 times a day. Thats my mom goal everyday. after I graduate in Elementary I was working to our neighbor, wash clothes, carry a water in container and then work to my aunty in the Market sell fruits like what my mom do. I cannot even save money for myself to buy my personal needs because I pay our grocery from my aunty store every month, that the way i could help my mom.When the open classes and im ready to highschool I only have 3hundred pessos and my mom is so tight. my 2 younger brother and 1 sister are going to school and they need a notebook, bags a school supplies . My mom want me to study but i was thinking our daiy expenses. even fare to go market and our breakfast we even cant buy it. So i decided to tell my mom not to go school that year and help her for my brothers and sister. My father loose his job because of some reason. My father is not a good rule model for all of us. But he used to be a good father and a good friend to other people most to the homeless. So, after a year of working to my aunty I was decided to work in Cebu for a better salary coz im hoping to get enough money to help my family.But working in Cebu never last longer coz I was surrounded by people who used drugs and I wont like that. My boss offer me to working student but Im scared. I go back to my home place after 6 months working along with my older sis Flower.I was so desperate to look a job so I continue working to our neighbors. I asked to my father to find me any job so I can help to buy my sister and brothers needed and wants( never think my mom problems every day) never think about her, all i think is what kids want and needed{ and i was really regret it now:(. . }Finally my father told to me and with my eldest sister Orchid that theres a hiring in his friend daughter. Im so excited and never think that it was store! The owner name Missy. When were there wating for her shes so busy texting and and she ask if one of us willing to work as a salesclerk but Orchid seen they wearing a minishirt and she told me that she dont want to work there so I said to maam Missy if its okey if I will. She said anyone of you and NO more any question!. I was so excited and nervous on my first day at the store. Missy mom is there setting in the checker and asking me what level of my education and i said elementary Graduate she just stare at me and then one customer want to buy and then they get busy. never think what my mom boss think but she never ask me again! I was so innocent that time and all i want is job!Until one time maybe 3 months of working in the pharmacy I remember Maam Missy asking me what level of my education and I was so nervous and cry becuase how I wanted to go back in school. I blame to my sis Flower why i cant to back to school. ( that time I think older sister is responsible to help their siblings) maam Missy did not tell any thing to me. But some of my nicest co-workers told me not to worry about out of school because i got a better job already. they let me feel good..they told me that a lot of people looking a job everyday and Im lucky that i was working already. thats helps me to feel better and think how lucky I am. but never easy for me to work in the store..! i work so hard my legs always killing and everyday is a Challenged! I was thinking I dont want my life always like this. I want to be happy like people in tv. But thats impossible to happen... I dont know where Im going...i dont know what my life direction I have no path in life. But im eager to learn...I bought dictionary because Im always left out to my co-workers and i want to marriage a foreigner and thats my dream to have my own family a happy living and to have job to help my family and people close in my heart. And then the time comes....i met a good man, the man that i never expect to love me physically ( but never knowing my secret, because I have no confident yet to protect myself and i was discriminated). We get marriaged after 6 months online dating, 6 months engage. His family are in our wedding in Philippines. Until I moved here In U.S and have an wonderful life not perfect but it was exciting. I feel like accomplishment all the hard work I've done in life. Now, its time for me to start family and settle down but im so scared I cannot find a job and if they ask me what the requirements. I need job to help my husband and our future kids and of course ( what my mom likes is to help each other) my brothers, sisters ( help them until they enough confident to stand in their own) and my mom sisters (who is my mom helping hands) in the Philippines( my both parents are gone already). Now biggest problem I have no G.E.D:(... dont know what to do. I been working as a nanny, house keeper and waitress before but now its done. I cannot find any job in my place and I have secret.Maybe the happiest moment in my life if they accept me!thank you.
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co-worker, drugs, drunk, last longer, money, my boss, text, underwear, want to be happy, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, juiceapple226 +, writes (2 December 2014):
juiceapple226 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm planning to study a Certified Nursing Assistant but Im worried if they ask me my GED and maybe this time my inlaws will know my secret. Im scared when they find out soon. A female reader, anonymous,im glad that your free and your husband accept you. me, i did not tell the truth coz i was underestimated when im growing up. im so scared to death now:(
CMMP thank you very much:
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2014): I did not graduate high school. I had all the opportunities to, don't get me wrong, but I was a stupid, stupid young kid.
I play a very risky game of saying I have a diploma on my job applications, and because of that, cannot apply to large companies and must work for smaller companies for less pay. For my age right now, I actually make very good money - but I know that if I do not get a GED, will not make as much as my friends when they graduate.
My boyfriend is the bread winner with a masters. He knows my story and has accepted it, and pushes I get my GED. It's a very scary experience that I often feel ashamed about, but it'll go well for you soon.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 December 2014):
I want to add that you should tell your husband the truth, it's not as big a deal as you think. Lying is, however.
Don't blame your sister though, it's not her fault. Just tell him you had to help your parents and couldn't go to school.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 December 2014):
I think you can lie about it. It's not like they're going to ask you for a high school deploma or call a school in the Philippines to verify.
If you really want to better yourself, you'll need to take some ESL classes and get in to college, even if it's only a technical program. Apply for scholarships, fasfa, etc, and you may be able to have school paid for.
A high school diploma will not get you very far unless you are a good salesperson or a natural entrepreneur.
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