A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 16 yrs now. I am 35 and my husband is 37, My problem is that from the very beginning of our relationship my partner goes to far with insults, He has told me for 17 yrs now that I forced him into marriage or that he felt sorry for me or some other very hurtful comment. He also spits in my face which makes me feel like he really does think of me as a nothing. 2 nights ago during a row he spat on my face 6 times, But I feel more affected and deeply hurt than usual. I keep going over all the previous nasty things he has said and all the other times he has spat in my face, I love him so much but I feel that it is time for him to leave for good as every time I look at his face I am reminded of all the other hurtful things he has done and I feel that I cannot deal with my issues as he is very much there. I feel so unloved and I now think 100 per cent that he never loved me truly in the way that I thought he did. Please help as this is the saddest I have ever felt and I also feel as though I have just woken up to this horrible realisation after all these wasted years together. Many Thanks
View related questions:
unloved Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): I know how you feel i have been married 18 months i am from usa he is from uk i sold everything and married him came living in the uk but once i was here he changed began saying mean things always putting me down and a few weeks ago late at night he spit on me and said he could kill me with 1 finger i was shocked ihave never in all my 46 years have had anyone say or do this to me its a sign of abuse. i still love him but i can't carry on this way with him thats why i have chosen to return to my country after all i gave up for this man family and friends he never says he is sorry just makes a point to put me down . dont be afraid i know it will be hard for you after 17 years marriage but you deserve so much better and beleive me you will find the right person who will make you feel good about yourself and make you feel loved
good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): I know how you feel i have been married 18 months i am from usa he is from uk i sold everything and married him came living in the uk but once i was here he changed began saying mean things always putting me down and a few weeks ago late at night he spit on me and said he could kill me with 1 finger i was shocked ihave never in all my 46 years have had anyone say or do this to me its a sign of abuse. i still love him but i can't carry on this way with him thats why i have chosen to return to my country after all i gave up for this man family and friends he never says he is sorry just makes a point to put me down . dont be afraid i know it will be hard for you after 17 years marriage but you deserve so much better and beleive me you will find the right person who will make you feel good about yourself and make you feel loved
good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 You deserve so much better! He totally doesn't respect you what so ever. He apparently has some "issues", but I seriously do not think they have anything to do with you, it's him. Don't let him get the best of you and don't stoop down to his level...you ARE far better then that! I think you need to let him know excatly how you feel and seriously talk about a divorce which I hate to say. I am not one 100% for it, however, this is a form of abuse in my books. If he wants to be unhappy, let HIM be unhappy. You deserve all the happiness in the world and you deserve someone who will treat you as the lady you are. Do not fear the unknown, because that is what most women do. It WILL only make you stronger. Good luck to you!
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (18 March 2007):
 Okay do you want the truth? This man has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever! He resents you to the extreme and "blames" you for the life he's living now. He feels he was forced into marrying you, he has even admitted "he felt sorry for you". Can you believe this man? Into the bargain he is showing his hate and resentment by spitting in your face!!!! Not once but 6 times and YOU are there taking it!!! Jeeeeze how much more abuse does he need to throw at you before the penny drops? HE DOES THINK OF YOU AS A NOTHING!
Take yourself away from your situation and think what advice you would give if someone came to you with YOUR problem. What would you say to them..............?
I feel deep down you know your marriage is over, it has been for a long time you you're frightened to go it alone, you've been with this man so long it's become more of a habit than anything else and you just don't know how to get out of it. You need to tell him you've had enough! Tell him you want him to leave, have his bags packed for him and tell him it's over. If he won't leave then you need to. If you both own the house, put it on the market and move somewhere smaller. You are a fool to put up with his abuse and you know deep down it won't get any better.
Go to a friend for moral support, someone you can confide in and talk to about this. No one should or need live this way. All he's doing is slowly ripping you of self esteem and confidence, in time you'll FEEL like a "nothing", worthless! The next time he starts to argue with you tell him you've had enough and you want him out! If you don't, he'll destroy you.
Eve
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (18 March 2007):
 My heart really does go out to you here, he really sounds like he is puttting you through the mill. I think the things he says to you, like the derogatory remarks and the spitting in your face is totally out of order. He say's you forced him into marrriage, but at the end of the day he still made a decision to marry you, he diden't have to.
I really believe that you would be better off without this guy, he is treating you like a door mat, no one ever deserves to have their face spat in either. I think either he should leave or you do. Maybe go to stay with friends or relatives for a bit of time to clear you head then see how you feel.
I think you deserve so much better than this, you need to be with someone who will give you the love and support that you so rightly deserve.
If you need any more advice send leave me a message in my inbox and i will try to help you.
All the best x
...............................
|
