A
female
age
36-40,
*alerie26
writes:well am a stay at home mom and Ive been with my husband for 5 years.and he has been accusing me of masturbating and he doesn't want or try to have sex with me,why do you think that is?accusing of masturbating? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (27 November 2010):
 He is trying to find out if you are finding pleasure without him, because even though he isn't contributing at all to yr sexual life, he is still jealous (maybe even more so, because he knows you are in need).
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Women and men who masturbate know their bodies better and are better lovers because of it.
It is not a sin to masturbate.
It is good for you.
The two of you need to see a counselor.
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A
male
reader, angelluvr +, writes (27 November 2010):
Maybe your husband thinks that you might be depriving him of something. I personally like it when my girl masterbates to my pleasure.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): I do not get the sense that you do masterbate at all. Not that it matters if you do, ever did, do not or never did.
Your husband looks like he's trying to deliberately upset you which is most unkind. It is also concerning that your husband seeks to withhold his pleasuring of you.
You should not have to put up with this nasty behavior from your husband.
What you seek is restitution of conjugal rights.
It is a part of marriage to expect that a husband would want to willingly meet his wife's sexual needs. Unless he is ill or incapable of doing so.
Just as he should honor and respect his wife.
He is not meeting his part of the marriage contract and inflicting a conflict on you just to be nasty.
What he is doing represents what should be grounds for divorce.
Your husband, sadly, is a poor misguided controlling man.
Even if you ever did masturbate, it's none of his business
There is nothing wrong with masturbating. Your husband is quite misguided about masturbation.
I do it daily and I'm happily married and my husband also gives me lots of loving
as well.
I think your man needs a psychiatrist.
And I think you both need some joint marriage counselling.
And if that does not work i think you will need a divorce lawyer
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Are you overweight after childbirth?
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (27 November 2010):
 This is not normal, healthy behaviour for a husband to treat his wife. In a healthy relationship a husband would want to give sexual pleasure to his wife and explore his sexual side with her. He would also recognise that masturbation is healthy, normal and each individual's private business. To ACCUSE someone of doing something which is their own business and something that most human beings do, seems very odd behaviour to me. It's as though he thinks it is wrong for his wife to be a sexual being at all.
Why this is I can only speculate. Perhaps it was his upbringing? Maybe he was brought up to believe that sex and masturbation were wrong and dirty and only to procreate? Maybe he thinks that mother figures should not be sexual beings. This could be Madonna/Whore complex, where a man believes a woman should be either a mother/wife and therefore pure and non-sexual or a whore/sex object where she is seen as desirable sexually but not suitable to be a mother or wife. So now you are his wife and have had his child/ren, he thinks you should be pure and not have sex at all. Perhaps it could be a way to control you.
Whatever the reason, you should not have to accept this behaviour in your marriage. It is your god given right to be a sexual being, to express your love for your husband physically and explore your own sexuality. IT IS NORMAL! He has no right to make you feel that it is not. If he does not think it is, HE has the problem and HE needs to seek professional help about this before he destroys your self esteem.
Honey you need to stand up to him and let him know his behaviour is wrong. I would suggest first of all that you seek relationship counselling on your own, so that you can understand the way that he treats you from a healthy perspective. Then you can feel strong enough to stand up to him and confront him on this issue. You need to sort this out or I'm afraid your relationship won't be a happy one. Your husband sounds like he will only get worse if he is not confronted on this issue.
Maybe tell him up front that yes you do masturbate and you enjoy it very much. Tell him he has no right to feel jealous of your hand if he won't give you the sexual love you require as a sexy, beautiful woman. See how he likes that!
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Masturate together, fun fun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): He's a really weird strange man. That's why.
What's wrong with you masturbating? What business is it of his what if you do or not?
Now that I think of it, I think he's actually trying to deprive you of sexual pleasure, he doesn't want to give you any and he doesn't want you to do it to yourself, he is indeed a strange, strange man. Or he's just being controlling.
He's accusing you of masturbating because that's what he is doing instead of having sex with you.
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