A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:well, its like this. I moved to a smaller unit with 2 b/r on my own after a divorce. I was moving on in my life and started a new job etc. A few months later I met bf, he moved in, his dog moved in. A while later my 16 year old moved in from his dads. Now its a family again and we are all quite happy and getting on well.S o whats the problem? My bfs 19yr old son wants to move in. He needs to live nearby to a new job in Sydney. My boyfriend thinks we should let him move in but THERES NO ROOM. Its just a small 2 br unit. We did have him stay for a month before and it was so crowded, also felt uncomfortable. He is a lovely boy and I really want to help him, but I just cant handle living like im in a dorm. I have told bf how I feel but he doesnt acnowlege my feelings and it makes me feel selfish because he is there for my son. Am I selfish or is their request unreasonable. Just wanted a peaceful new life and got a crowded house !
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Ask your self honestly if you would rather they all move out.
I dont think you are happy with a crowded house and even a move would not make you happy and this is nothing to be ashamed of.
You just moved in bloke before you had "me" time as a good friend of mine say`s.
Tell bloke to go get his own flat for his son and the dog and tell your son to start looking for a flat.
Give your self some space and don`t feel guilty for wanting it. life is too short to do things we dont want to do.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Can the 19-yr.old find an inexpensive apartment and/or a roommate to split expenses with? If so, he should consider living somewhere else. He's old enough to be on his own and not mooching off of you guys for a free ride. The 16 yr.old is still under age and is technically your responsibility to provide for as long as he wants to live with you, you have an obligation there. If it is not reasonable for the 19 yr. old to find his own place, i.e. he cannot afford it, and cannot find a roommate, then you may need to consider moving into a bigger place and your b/f will have to share the expense of the move, plus the additional cost of rent for a larger place so you can all be one big happy family without getting on each other's nerves. I hope that helps you out.
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Im sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed by your home situation. You are obviously a very caring person.
Personally I can see why you are feeling this way and I agree that your current home is far too small for your extended family. Health and safety issues spring to mind.
Would moving be an option for you all? You could suggest this to your boyfriend. Look for a nice house with 3 or 4 bedrooms and a nice garden for your dog to play in. You could all pitch in financially.
Otherwise I cant see this situation of 4 (almost in your sons case) adults and a dog living together in a 2 bedroom flat, working out. You would simply have to put your foot down firmly and tell him that whilst you are very fond of his son, he will have to find alternative accommodation.
Speak with your boyfriend and make him listen to your objections and perhaps consider the option of moving.
Take care,
Skye
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