A
female
age
41-50,
*ry
writes:my heart is broken . i love this man. we have a son . he has two girls with this trampy slutty drug usin woman and i dont know why he chooses her over someone like me, im totaley the oppisit of her but she may be dieing from a tumor we found out yesterday that she has 2 years but she lies all the time ive never met her i really thought i was something special to him i gave him his first son .. the story is deep is so deep last nite he told me they are sleeping together and he loves her ive stuck by his side through storms hope you know what i mean this man i feel like my heart is bleeding i dont know what to do please give me some kind of advice i dont even have a shoulder to cry on.
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male
reader, jonathan314 +, writes (7 June 2010):
I have had quite a few life experiences. When I lost my girlfriend last year I started getting reminded of my earlier days when I did a lot of drugs (9 years sober now though). My demand, my wanting, my NEED for her very much reminded me of when I quit everything. My comparison actually turned out to have a scientific component, in that when you are "in love" your brain manufactures chemicals to continue the "in love" feeling. When you don't get that, you start to scratch and claw for it.
You have to start building yourself up....even if you don't want to...even if you don't think you can. You must start somewhere again. Start a daily routine and stick to it. Cry as much as you need to cry and sever contact with him until you are stronger as an individual. You can get through this, I promise you that, unless you give up and lay down and the fact that you are on here asking for help is a testament to your desire to get better.
A
female
reader, cry +, writes (5 June 2010):
cry is verified as being by the original poster of the question well his dad is my moms brother they have the same mom but diffrent dads so like half brothers & sister my son is fine . and im 27 hes 33 right now 6 year gap altho he broke my heart then smothered it with salt i ask my self why i still care and love him ... my mom never met her dad my sister never met her dad god rest her soul and i have never met my dad he dosent care about me or want anything to do with me . i really wanted this to work and change the pattern . why do i still want to be with him im so pethetic
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A
female
reader, cry +, writes (5 June 2010):
cry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much i know your right thanks for your answers
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A
male
reader, jonathan314 +, writes (5 June 2010):
The nice thing about being online and talking to people is that you can do so anonymously. Now there is a 5 year gap in your ages, not too bad, but did you say that you are cousins? Are you first cousins? And that is why your family is angry with you? Am I correct in saying that? I'm just trying to grasp the full situation here and I don't judge you, but let us know all those details sweetie.
I do think that it would be very helpful for you to talk to someone though. I mean it seems a lot of us here have seen therapist or counselors, but that doesn't qualify us to act like them. There are some things that you do need to do with a professional and this sounds like one of those occasions.
Let us know those answers though and maybe we can help further. Take care.
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A
female
reader, cry +, writes (5 June 2010):
cry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe went to jail and did time cause we got caute having sex when i was 14 he was 19 wer cousins wev just came out and told everybody are 3 year lie my familys not talkin to me i dont have any friends he told me to waite he still never broke up with me hes having sex with her and being dad over there but not to are son why dose he want me to waite he says hes going to see if he fits in over there hes waiting for her to change he says im so lost and confused he treats me like crap why do i love him so much whats wrong with me should his daughters meet are son should i meet her i lied to my mom for 3 years i didnt tell her who the father was i lied she never liked him cause of the past we have she says shes writing me out of her will i dont know what to do with myself im miserable heartbroken confused what am i soposto waite for her to die and if she has the surgery and lives then what ..........
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): There is nothing you can do about him having feelings for the other woman regardless if she is a drug user or not. The best thing you can do is take time to heal and move on. You may even need to seek therapy. I understand how you feel....over one year ago, my ex broke my heart and it was a horrible exp. to go through. It took me almost one year to get over him...I cried, I couldn't stop thinking about him, I couldnt' stop calling him, I had to seek therapy....it was horrible. I never ever want to exp. that kind of emotional pain again. Good look.
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A
male
reader, jonathan314 +, writes (5 June 2010):
In my experience it's hard to let go. My last girlfriend left me feeling the same way (although our pain is obviously unique to each of us). He has taken all the power away from you by deciding he is leaving you and what I had to do was learn how to take it back. I learned in the immediate to turn my life into a regiment. I woke up at the same time, ate the same time, exercised the same time (I hate cardio but walked 30 minutes everyday, because I was told it help counter stress hormones), and went to bed at the same time. It helped alleviate the immediate pain. People that choose to go to drugs or those that do them are trying to punish themselves for whatever reason and you don't need to put up with his neuroses or comfort him through them. You have a beautiful child though and although he is half of this jerk genetically that abandoned you, you will be able to raise him to be a good well adjusted individual that won't do what his father did. You need a shoulder to cry on though. I don't have a lot of friends, so I spoke to a therapist. If you need someone to talk to you can contact me though if anything I've said has been helpful to you. Take care of yourself and your baby and you will get through this. I promise.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 I have full sympathy for you. Your men is trapped by worst type of female. Only her death can free your men from her trap. Yes, she must be lier, and she too is trapped by some gang formed by similar type of mentality.
I can understand your pain, but unable to offer any solution, but I have some suggestions, you can consult some honest legal advisor, social worker etc...perhaps they can help you to solve your problem.
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