A
female
age
36-40,
*udrina
writes:5 months ago i discovered my boyfriend of 4 years was cheating on me, found a text saying 'come over so we can finally be alone' and believed that they did have sexual relations but merely emotional cheating at that time. Inevitably it was over then and there with the next day throwing all his stuff out of the house. I couldn't help but id made a mistake in the next few days, he said he was sorry blah blah but made no effort to get me back. Perhaps this is where i should add that we have a child together as well. I said it was fine to not be with me but if he ever wanted to see the child he would end whatever it was he had with her. I found out that they were still communicating after my stern warnings. Anyways it was only 4 days when he realised the error of his ways and came back and i accepted him. I specifically asked if they had had sex for health reason as i didn't want to get an std. He was able to look me in the eye and say no, but just last week, you guessed it i got tested for chlamydia just thrown in for good measure by my doctor, and it came back positive. I got tested 2 years ago before my son was born because it can be passed on from the mother to baby and it was negative. I confronted him about my results and he confessed. But i am horrified and after 4 months almost all trust was back and had forgiven him but the fact he didnt tell me 4 months ago when he had the chance just breaks my spirit the fact he has put my health at risk and my life more importantly at risk. He says he only had unprotected sex for a minute and then used a condom but i am now worried she may be pregnant. Not mention other std's i could have.(im going to get tested for them all now)He is deeply sorry and obviously loves me alot, it would be much easier to just leave but i feel even more betrayed now, even though technically he never had sex with her while we were together he still cheated emotionally and didn't tell the truth months ago when he had the chance. We've even been going to couples counselling. I felt like sex was something we still had that was sacred between just us now i don't think i could ever be initmate with him because thats all ill be thinking of. I feel so confused because i desperately want to be with him and love him deeply but this level of betrayal is just so big and i don't think could get any bigger. I can't fathom how i will get over it. y heart says yes but my head says no. What should i do?
View related questions:
be pregnant, condom, std, text, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, niki20  +, writes (17 April 2009):
 i would say if your head is louder then your heart, go w/ what ever one is louder, if he didnt make an effort in the first place that would make me backoff.
|
