A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I find it incredibly boring when my BF goes down on me. We've been intimate for about 3 months now and have decided not to have intercourse yet, but we've done just about everything else in the book (or outside it). My guy is great, he really turns me on, he's exciting and likes to try new things, but when it comes to oral... I just don't get what's so exciting about it. He seems to enjoy it, so I haven't told him that I find it incredibly boring. He's also the first guy to go down on me. Is he doing something wrong? Is something wrong with me? Any thoughts? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JakeChaucer +, writes (11 January 2012):
Im a guy, we need help tell him what to do, play a game, or make a game out of it, try different things get some books together, experient, try whipped cream
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 January 2012):
 Is it possible he's focusing on the interior of the vagina and ignoring the clitoris? Maybe he's not very up on his female anatomy and needs some guidance. Depending on your own physical make up, you may find certain areas more sensitive and enjoy stimulation there whereas other areas don't have many nerve endings and thus stimulating them doesn't do much for you.
So, without knowing what he's doing, my guess is that he's focused on vaginal stimulation and is ignoring your clitoris. Some guys assume the vagina is the most sensitive and pleasurable zone for a woman, when for the vast majority of women, it's the clitoris that is the hot zone.
Can you bring yourself to orgasm? If you can, then you know what areas are important for your pleasure. Guide him to those areas and experiment with different oral techniques. There is licking, sucking, big flat tongue, darting pointy tongue, nibbling, you see the possibilities.
Another thing for you to think about is that your own mind is sabotaging the experience. "Am I really clean down there? Am I really really clean? Did I shave/wax/get rid of enough of the hair? What if I smell funny? God that's a weird place to stick your face, what if he doesn't really enjoy it?" Women's thoughts have a tendency to interfere with sexual pleasure, I think most men can just let go and enjoy the physical sensations without over-thinking.
You could just be one of many women who do not enjoy oral. Nothing to be ashamed of here, just know your own body and its response and be clear yet tactful about guiding him through the maze of your body's sexual response.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (11 January 2012):
 Peanut butter?
Only joking, just tell him you dont really like it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2012): Alot of women only orgasm from oral sex... so maybe he is, do you give him encouragement as to what you want (not to be too graphic, but like up a bit, insert a finger or two, left a bit?)When you get to know what you like 'on your own' it's easier to give positive directions to someone else! But if it really doesn't float your boat, just say!Different strokes for different blokes n all that (sure that works in women too!)Don't get into that whole not saying what doesn't work for you thing...he may just be doing it to please you if he thinks you like it, he may even be relieved if you tell him you don't!Honesty is the best policy here!p.s. i once dated someone who stuck his tongue in my belly button!! lol, I thought that was gross, n told him It did nothing for me in a polite way of course!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2012):
My girlfriend never had it done to her before she met me and she doesn't like it either. She says she'd rather be having sex and my face in her privates makes her uncomfortable. It seems to be universally accepted that women love oral and that it's the only surefire way to please a woman, but the reality is that some women don't like it. Maybe you are one of them. That's okay. Tell him what he can do that DOES drive you wild.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 January 2012):
 Well I certainly wouldn't word it as "incredibly boring" but I'm sure the only reason he loves going down on you is because it's fun to watch you enjoying it. Why don't you tell him the things you prefer, like when he says he wants to go down on you, say I would really love if you did _____.
...............................
|
