A
female
age
51-59,
*achel69
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. we have talked about moving in together. it makes sense for me to move in with him as he has no mortgage or rent to pay. the problem is it is an old cottage on a farm and has no central heating, double glazing or any form of mod cons. hot water is a nightmare you only get half a bath before it runs cold!! so i have said i cannot move in with it in that state. now the cottage actually belongs to the farm that his parents own and he manages. he tells me the farm will pay for all the essentials that need doing but this was 6 months ago and still nothing has happened. now i regulary see his parents for sunday lunches etc. and neither of them have ever mentioned anything about us moving in together or modifying the house. when i last spoke to my bloke about it at the end of november he said things will happen in january. well i am still waiting and nothing is happening. i wouldnt mind if the parents spoke to me about it. i suppose i could mention it to them but i guess i feel uneasy as i think i am doubting my fella as to whether he has even discussed it with them. any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 January 2010):
I would just bring it up next time you see them.
Putting in really good windows and insulation will really add on to the price of the place so it's a good investment.
As for central heating, if you are starting from scratch you could put in a solar water heating system for a lot less than you would if you had a system already in place..... I saw one on a cold grey day in North Wales and the water was coming out hot enough to bath in JUST off the sun.
Do some research as to what he could actually DO with the place, and bring it up during dinner. If you are moving in with a view to being with this guy for life then they will want to know you have a good head on your shoulders and aren't just moaning that you have to rough it.
"You know, if you are putting in central heating anyway, then I saw this really interesting thing about wood burners / solar heating / other stuff on the internet...."
If they have talked about it then you'll be seen as taking an initiative and looking after him... If they haven't then your comment will be so innocent that it will be forgotten about when it kicks off.
Good Luck!! xx
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