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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Why do men or more specifically why is my man incapable of thinking about the future? After 4 years i'm getting tired. We love eachother a lot and are good friends, but when I ask him about the future, he says "nobody knows what the future holds." After four years of this, i'm getting tired. Is there anything I can do to make him come up with a plan? I'm tired of being the planner for both of us. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 Does he use this answer about taking your relationship to the next level.
You need to push and more concrete answer out of him but be specific with the question. Letting know about your feelings and needs and that more feedback from him is needed might help him be more decisive.
If after four years, he is not ready, will he ever be? Probably not.
In that case no matter how much of a planner you are, you cannot change him or rush it. Just leave and find someone who can give you what you want.
A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 He is incapable of thinking about the future because he doesn't WANT to. "Nobody knows what the futue holds" is code for "I don't want to make a commitment" in guy speak. After four years you would think he would have an idea huh? You can't make him come up with a plan... he already has one... to continue on this way as long as you are willing to put up with it. It sounds to me like you are getting tired of it. So I'd suggest that once again you be the planner and give him a plan... either "you make up your mind in the next 6 months or I am making up your mind for you and moving on to a relationship that involves someone with the ability to make a plan." And follow through with it.
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