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anonymous
writes: I'm in my 40's and have been dating this guy (my age) who plans to dye his hair a crazy color - from dark to bleached blonde or blue or bright red. He used to do this a lot. I'm a professional and to be honest would be embarrassed to take him to office functions, to meet family, etc. Am I being shallow? I don't feel I have a right to tell him what to do, but this could end up ending our relationship. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (20 October 2006):
 Er, "water cooler talk." I don't know who really hangs out by the water fountains. I know it's an unimportant mistake, but I still felt the need to correct myself. lol
A
female
reader, stina +, writes (20 October 2006):
Hi Anon,
I don't think you should let this bother you. Why do *his* actions embarass *you*? Because you don't want *other* people talking about you and him? Why does it matter when what really counts is how he acts toward you.
Why throw away something special because of something ridiculous like hair color? Think of this way, he may not like some outfits you wear, but it's hardly worth splitting over.
BTW - I know where you're coming from. My husband puts his hair in liberty spikes. I work for a very conservative corporation and he occasionally drops me off and picks me up from the office. Trust me, your co-workers will get over it. There's always new water fountain talk, but not always someone who will treat you like you deserve.
Let him be who he wants to be. It's okay to be different, even in your 40's!
Take care.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (20 October 2006):
 If this is the worse thing he does, and the rest of your relationship is sound, then just accept it. Read some of the other problems that people post here, and you might put your situation in perspective.
Now there is a reality that your work environment may not tolerate such things. For that reason, simply have him not attend, or when those functions happen, ask him to dye his hair jet black. I would suggest that he dye the hair and attend anyways, as spouces do not attend work functions do communicate that there are problems in the relationships, ot interested third parties.
If this is who he is, then this is who you care about.
-Frank B Kermit
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