A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok here's the deal:I'm in year 12 (6th form) at school, and I go to an all-girls college. I am almost 16 years old.Ever since 3rd form I have been crushing on one of the teachers from my school - he's young (27) and a happy, likable person. He's so easygoing and an amazing person to talk to. As he is also pretty cute, he gets some attention from the younger (3rd and 4th form)girls at my school. He is also a pretty conceited man and, from what I can tell, he likes the attention he gets at school (even though he has a girlfriend of 6 months)and when he knew that I was crushing on him 2 years ago, I (and even other students) felt like he went out of his way to talk to me (e.g whenever he saw me in the corridors), and he even flirted a little.Over the years I've been getting stronger and stronger feelings for him, and last year I began to feel like I 'loved' him. Now as I am only a teenager I'm not entirely sure what love is, but the feelings I have for this man is definately more than a crush or an infatuation. I don't have him for a teacher this year and have been trying to keep away from him but it doesn't make the feelings go away. Whenever I talk to him or whenever he smiles at me my heart pounds and I feel the pain knowing I can never have him.As much as it hurts, there is a bit of a distance between us this year - we have been pretty close in previous years but now we hardly ever see each other. But I have a new reeeally young teacher this year (22!) and she is female...I never really used to like her - she was just another teacher to me - but over the past month or so I've been feeling a really strong connection with her. She is always really happy and I love talking to her. I'm not a lesbian or anything but now I have insanely strong feelings for her, and it feels like love....I sometimes even feel like I obsess over her even more than teacher number 1!I really need help, I have no idea what to do, this is killing me! I don't even want a boyfriend my age, they are silly and immature and I feel like I am going to have to wait until I'm in my 20's until I can date I guy I really like. And I can't get these stupid feelings to go away! They are so strong. What should I say to them? I really want them to like me (not in THAT way, I know that's not gonna happen, but in a 'friend' kind of way). I want to talk to them both but don't know what to do/say. Pleeease help me!-SORRY IT'S LONG-
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Look honestly you are not alone, we have all been there and crushed on authority figures, I used to have a teacher and MY GOD but I enjoyed her class.Enjoy your crush on both people. Dont try and make yourself feel bad for having these feelings, they are natural, Its often very hard to distinguish between Like, and love don't put yourself under pressure to try and figure it all out now. As far as the pain of never knowing you can have him, Is there any chance that you really want to love and be loved by someone (which we all do) and that you are anxious for this to start ? Look trust me on this it will happen in time and that time may not be a million miles away, but you have to realise now that mixing professional and personal is never a good idea and that especially goes for the class room. Relax and enjoy yourself, feel flattered that two teadhers like you as a person enough to chat to you.One note of warning, If you were a mum and a 27 year old guy was going or possibly going out of his way to befriend a girl in school would you be concerned?I hope this helps.Elpigaro
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