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My girl's past experiences make it hard for her to trust me. what can I do?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 August 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My gf has a very bad past experience. She caught her x cheat on her and suffered a great pain.

Since we started our relationship, that bad experience still stayed around her. She said she will not be able to stand if another guy cheat on her.

I assured her in many ways but she still has that feeling. Each time she has that feeling, she will keep a distance from me. I understand how she feel. I would like to know ways to help her forget about her bad experience.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008):

Thank you for the responses

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A female reader, twinkletoes30 Ireland +, writes (2 August 2008):

twinkletoes30 agony auntHi there, im goin thru a similar situation myself 2day, actually! my new man was horribly hurt in the past (his last gf committed suicide a year ago, and treated him soo badly for the 2 years they were 2gether - cheating, hitting, etc). Ive told him that i really like him, want to be with him, and that im gonna b there for him. No pressure, just let him know that im prepared to wait as long as i have to, cos what we have 2gether is special. Hes just gone home, much happier! He said he feels safe, knowing how i feel, and that he will try to relax more. So, b open, honest and most importantly, be THERE. Dont bring up the subject, let her talk when she need 2, and eventually, hopefully, she will learn 2 trust again. Good luck - shes a lucky girl to have you!

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (2 August 2008):

kenny agony auntAll you can do is be there for her, comfort her, assure her that you are a good guy and you would never ever cheat on her. Ok so she has had a bad experience and it has left he emotionally scarred, and of course it is hard to put her trust in someone after what her ex did. So just be supportive, give her lots of love, hugs & kisses and be a good boyfriend to her, in time she will come to trust you, time is the healer of all pain.

All the best

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (2 August 2008):

Astrid agony auntThink if you have the will and the strenth to wait and help or just let her go and look after yourself

good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008):

just be patient, it will go away, dont give her reasons to think that u are going to be a cheater, be with her, make her feel that she's your one and only, and how much you appreciate her, with time she'll see there is no danger being around you and her trust problems will disappear.- =)*

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008):

She will never forget about her experience.Even if she is

not thinking about it,the memory will be in the back of her

head and come up sometimes again and again,no matter how much she tries to forget.Unfortunately,we cannot erase bad memories out of our heads,no matter how much we want to forget them and pretend like they never happened.Comfort

her.Don't bring up the subject if she's not thinking about it.Hug her,kiss her,and be there for her emotionally and physically,but most importantly,emotionally.Eventually,she

will get over her fear and learn to trust you.I wish you the best.x

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