A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so this isn't your usual "omg her sexual history.." type thing. More so, how do you get past or over, a loved one's sexual, choices I'd say?I'm with the same woman for what we'd call a while now, both madly in love, plans to marry, have kids, etc the whole American dream whatchamacallit. Which is cool with me, I desire the same thing with her. Her sexual past isn't long and distinguished, it's like 4 guys since she was a teenager (she's now 26). A rather low number compared to some of the other discussions here. But what gets me is her... sexual experimentation as she likes to call it?Like for example she has a friend, who is into a group sex lifestyle, sharing partners etc She's gone to their parties before, never done anything at them but has sat around a hottub completely nude with an entire group of strangers she's never met (I know some people enjoy such a thing..). Or she is more than willing to attempt and do anal sex.. Which yea I can understand "why" but..that's not something I would want, to me thats an exit not an entrance..What gets me is, I'll do anything in the world to ensure her happiness and well being. At the end of the day even if she leaves me or moves on, as long as she is happy in life thats all I desire. BUT..while I may be willing to give my life to save hers, or do anything she ever asks..some of the above formentioned sexual activities are STOMACH CURLING to me.. I literally got nauseous at running the image of her in my mind at some strangers house, in some hottub with a bunch of other people she's never even met, complete stark naked.I understand people have different, sexual preferences to certain things, and group activities are not even on my list. Something I would never, ever, do. Anal as well..Yet what the fuck do I say if such a subject comes up? Say no? Do it despite my disgust just to make her happy and not mention it?I guess the part that really hit me below the belt so to speak was some of these things she neglected to mention until now after many months. She's perfect in every way imaginable..yet this is eating at my soul! I can feel it gnawing away at my brain, I have to concentrate on other shit not to think about it..
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female
reader, lisamcdonald15  +, writes (6 April 2009):
i partly agree with satindesire. its in the past and you cant change that. however its possible that maybe she didn't tell you at first because she was afraid of how you would react. she obviously loves you if she has the courage to tell you this regardless of how long it took her.talk to her about it. explain that you personally don't feel comfortable with it but that you can accept her preferences.if you cant accept it then you cant go on lying to her and feeling the way do. in that case, you should break up. good luck. i hope it doesn't end with a break up
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): Man, I feel your pain. I don't really have an answer for you because i'm going through close to the same thing. My gf of 6 months is everything i'm looking for. I'm falling in love with her. She recently told me about a friend of hers whom she had known for a long time and she said that they were in a Friend's with Benefits relationship. She brought the past sexual partners issue up because she wants to be honest and wants to be able to have open conversations. However, I find myself obsessing over this issue now and I can't get it out of my head.
It's not that she had sex because I know people do. I don't care about her previous boyfriends. But, this guy wasn't and she openly admitted that she didn't have feelings for him. It was just the sex and now I can't quit thinking about it. I know your situation is different but I think it might be close to the same concept. Basically, your gf, as mine, bursted your perfect image of her and now we can't get it out of our brains. To us, anything that diminishes her makes us sick inside. I hope it'll pass with time. Just my two cents. Good luck.
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