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female
,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and I have been together for seven and a half years. I love her so much it hurts. Recently she has lost a lot of weight and has become much more confident. I am really proud of her and of what she has achieved. Since she has lost the weight she has been getting a lot of attention from other people, and mostly it doesn't bother me. She has become very outgoing and has formed a relationship with a woman from work. She won't let me in on the friendship and that makes me feel like she is trying to hide something from me. I understand she needs her own space but it hurts when she pushes me away, whenever she goes out with this woman I get very jealous and start behaving in a very controlling way. It is driving us apart, I can't lose her, how can I stop how I feel, we talked about it last night, she says she loves me but she resents how I have been behaving, she thinks I don't trust her, but I do, I'm just scared that she might see that she doesn't want me anymore. I feel like I might have already caused too much damage.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2005): What a terrible answer from pops - can he/she really say that all jealousy is an expression of self doubt? That's absolutely false, and most analysts will agree. In your case, your suspicions are probably unfounded, but I would find it peculiar if my partner of seven years wasn't willing to share such a close new friend of hers with me.
A
reader, pops +, writes (4 August 2005):
What are you insecure about? Jealousy is merely an expression of self doubt. Its your problem, not hers. If you can't control your own emotions, you will destroy this relationship. Seek professional help from mental health professionals. Do it now.
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