| A
female
,
*li
writes: I am a 18 year old female and need some advice from someone.My problem is I have this great friendship with this guy. He is my best friend and vice versa with him. Well after a classmate died, we started talking a lot more and he started telling me he liked me and wanted to be with me and things like that. The problem is he has a girlfriend. I have always had feelings for him for the past few years and when he told me he liked me and wished he would have tried things with me when he had the chance to but he was too scared. I started to realize how much I really liked him. Now that school is out I don't see him and I hate it when he comes to visit me though we are always flirting with each other and his girlfriend doens't know he comes to see me... I don't know what I should do. I need someone to give me some advice... I really think I love him because all I think about is him and wanting to be with him and the way he talks it is the same here... So what is going on? I am so confused on what to do here??!! Can anyone help me out here?
View related questions:
best friend, flirt, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (4 August 2005):
First, tell him to be honest with his girlfriend. It he is no longer attracted to her, then end that relationship. Then, ask him if he is serious about having a relationship with you. If he honestly intends this to go beyond flirting with you, he should tell you. But make sure you tell him that you think his behavior is dishonest to his current girlfriend, and you would not want to be treated that way by him if the situation was reversed. Some guys don't consider flirting as " cheating", and some flirting is just that- flirting. It all has to do with intent. Years ago, I had a secretary who enjoyed the compliments that flirting can be. I flirted with her daily, and she with me, because that was the relationship we developed. We were both involved with different people, and I made it clear that I don't date in the office. Knowing that, she was always propositioning me in front of the other secretaries, to see what my reaction, or repost would be. We had a lot of fun with it, and neither of us regretted a moment of it. However, my gf knew about my relationship, and used to work with the secretary to try to make me feel ill at ease, and otherwise tease the heck out of me.Flirting works only if both parties understand the intent and the rules. Not everyone can do this, however. Watch the older James Bond movies and listen to the lines between Bond and Miss Moneypenny. Its a good example of office flirting, where both parties know nothing is ever going to come of it.
|
