A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, i love this lady-my girlfriend and respect her too. Problem is she is too insecure and i think doesnt trust me coz i had another before we met. She thinks i dont love her more than my ex.what do i do?dont want to loose her but have tried all i know to show her and told her how i feel. I know she loves me but this makes us fight a lot. Please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): Unfortunately there's not alot you can do. You can shower an insecure partner with love and affection and they can still not get over being insecure. Just don't do anything that would make her not trust you. Mind you, if ever you and your girlfriend run into your ex, you could be REALLY affectionate with your girlfriend. Yeh, it sucks, especially if you are friends with your ex, but it will really help her trust you more. Look for opportunities to prove to her that you have eyes for only her, because she seems to have a "guilty until proven innocent" attitude.
Just don't let HER insecurities affect your lifestyle too much. Hopefully she will become less insecure with age, but yeh, I tried everything under the sun with one insecure girlfriend and after two years I still can't say that there's a definitive answer to curing insecurities.
Provided you're not doing anything too bad to make her feel this way, she needs to know that SHE needs to work on being less insecure. I'd ask her what you can do to help her, but ask for specific things, not generalities, that way you know what to do. If she sees you making an effort to help her, then she should be making an effort to work on her insecurity. If she doesn't, I'd get out if I were you, its not a good sign of things to come.
Best of luck dude :)
A
female
reader, Entirely Unique  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 The only thing you can do is show her how you feel about her and reassure her and it seems like that's exactly what you have been doing.
Therefore theres not really much you can do, you've done everything that you can do to help this but it seems to me that the issues are with her and not you or anything you have been doing.
I do think you should talk to her though, find out why she has these thoughts and feelings but I don't think anything you do is making her think and feel like this, I think this is an issue within her that she needs to get sorted herself.
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