A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I have just separated from my girlfriend of 8 months.not long I know but it's been one heck of a journey . She is 32 and im 41 ,throughout our relationship she has kept in close contact with several older men. Just lunches ,drinks after work etc. after a few months I felt myself become very insecure about one of theses guys in particular. He has always flirted with her and even when I'm around.i really battled with my self over this and spoke to her about it. She told me he was like a father to her and has helped her so very much . She has told me about her past, sexual abuse as a child from an uncle and total father abandonment ..so I could understand her need to have contact with older guys but the flirting seemed crazy. i could do nothing but sit back and watch until the point I became so insecure that I drove this very free spirited girl away. It's been a real emotional time for me as I kept telling myself I was just being controlling and insecure ,I've really been trying to understand this crazy situation. Days after she moved out all was revealed. I have found out that she had an affair with this guy 6 years ago and they were on and off for years. Get this he's 59 and is married 25 years with two kids. She told me he never told her he was married when they hooked up but she did sleep with him after knowing. They all hang out with the wife ,dinners, biking and act like friends.i don't know if the wife knows and now I know I'm not sure what to do about that information either. She ,the wife has been unwell in the past with cancer so I don't want to hurt her. Her husband as a total womaniser and is constantly flirting with girls at our local yacht club. My ex just defends him when I questioned her about it and she does not seem to show any remorse. It's a real head game as she seems so totally into our relationship ,short and long term. I say ex but we are supposed to be having time out to clear our minds a bit. Considering I haven't slept more than a few hrs a night for two weeks that's no going so well!. I hate that she kept him in our relationship. I hate that she slept with him after knowing he was married. This guy is such a scum bag to prey on venerable girls who were trying to fulfil a farther type role but made it sexual.throughout our relationship this guy kept calling her and texting her two or three time a day.I really don't know what to do. I love her very much, but there are so many crazy layers .
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affair, flirt, her past, insecure, married man, moved out, my ex, older men, text, womaniser Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): To the person that replied ,thank you so much. I have almost gone nuts trying to get this insane situation out of my head. You brief direct and wise words are unbleiveabley comforting. I know you are so right, it's just so hard to move on when you let your heart go. Thanks again. I've never been on one of these support sites before and I will certainly be helping anyone I can, knowing just how a much an objective un biast view can help. Thank you again ! If I sleep tonight it because of you :-)
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