| A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and her ex boyfriend don't get along very well now. They broke up last summer and she and I started dating a few months ago. They still talk and he is really a dick to her. He says some really mean stuff sometimes, but I don't know the whole story behind their breakup. She keeps texting him to try and be friends, but he doesn't want to be friends anymore and it really bothers her. She gets really mad about it and says she misses his friendship. I try to be supportive and understanding, but its really beginning to bother me. I feel like she shouldn't be as upset about him as she is. I too have ex girlfriends that I'm not on the best terms with and that I would like back as a friend, but it doesn't bother me and consume me the way it does her. She'll get really upset when he says something mean and cry and she subtweets about him on twitter often. She promises me that she is completely over him, but I don't know. It just really bothers me that she is so emotional about him. I feel like if she were really over him it wouldn't be a big deal. I don't get why she can't just forget about him. I haven't told her that it bothers me. I know she loves and cares about me, but I just can't understand why he makes her feel the way she does. I want to comfort her through her pain, but IM her boyfriend now.. some other guy shouldn't bother her this much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014): Hello. I hate to say this but she is still in love with him, she hopes she is in love with you but, all you are is some body to be their for her in her time of pain, if he tells her he wants her back you be the one in pain. Sorry I would tell her its me or him , you have to make up your mine, I know it would hurt, but maybe thats the only way she would make up her mine, some times to get over some one you have to get hurt by another, then maybe she would realize, how much you mean to her, I would say am sorry but I cant compete with him, go no contact, an if she comes back say to her, he has to be out of your life completely. Just you an me in this relationship, no exs
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (28 January 2014):
 She is *NOT* over him, and it's inappropriate that she's trying to be all buddy buddy with her ex. People who break up stop being friends with exes unless there are special exceptions, but the big thing is that you have to be 100% OKAY with his being still in contact with her.
How would she feel if you had an ex who you constantly stayed in contact with? There's a word for that, and it's called BAGGAGE. Personally, someone with an ex with that much influence over someone I was interested in would be a deal breaker for me. I date people who go no contact (unless it's in social settings like school where it's inevitable) with their exes and therefore don't have ex drama.
She needs to deal with it, but I'd tell her that it bothers you and that it's not acceptable to have exes around being friends and whose words to her matter more than yours.
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