A
male
age
41-50,
*enty
writes:Can you help memy girlfriend doesn't do anything in bed that we plan to try for fun yet will bite my head off if I ask why I could understand if she was nervous because she hadn't done it before but guess what her exs got to do it all with her she doesn't go down on me but did with them but loves when I eat her outis it me am I asking to much for her to enjoy herself with me and stop shutting me out we bin dating for five years is she just playing me ago hoping I will forgeting bout my needs please help
View related questions:
her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (26 July 2010):
If doing sex beyond the classic penis-in-vagina mode is important to you ( and personally I don't think you are wrong to want some variation ) then you just have to tell her straight - she either lets you do it those other ways or you're going to have to look for a girl who will satisfy your sexual needs.I totally disagree with the poster who says oral is just a 'want' not a 'need'. You could say the same about vaginal sex: unless you are actually trying to make a baby all sex could be described as 'just a want'. But it's a pretty strong want, especially for men. It's so strong that in my view it becomes a 'need' - and somewhere out there there's a girl who'll satisfy that need.So give her the option. She's entitled to say ' no thanks' and if so then you are entitled to move on.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Hi there, it sounds as though you are really struggling in your sex life. "my girlfriend doesn't do anything in bed that we plan to try for fun yet will bite my head off if I ask why" So you have talked about things and have agreed to do them and then she refuses and shuts you out. Is there any possibility here that you are the one who wants to do things, talks to her about them, gets her to agree and then when it's time to perform them, she then decides that she's never been interested?
May I ask how you know all her exes did things but she won't do them with you? Have you been talking to her exes or to her?
And what are the things you want to do that she won't, beyond oral sex? Is there more?
I would say if you are this dissatisfied and unfulfilled, it's probably time to reassess your relationship and your communication with her about this. I think a relationship that has lasted for five years has some history and stability that should allow for frank and honest discussion about sexual needs and sexual desires. Your resentment is growing, I think it's time for a nice long talk and one in which you do your best to set aside your resentment and entitlement feeling and really LISTEN to her. Even if you disagree wildly with what she says. LISTEN to her. What has she said? What will she say?
A good exercise for you might be to try to write this question from her perspective. "My boyfriend is angry and frustrated with our sex life because I won't do what he would like. I can't because......" then you fill in the blanks here. It's worth a try and shouldn't be too hard if you know her well and have some listening skills.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, loraemoon +, writes (25 July 2010):
 we all have needs but her going down on you is not a need its a want , she may of done it before she met you but may think shes being pressured into it, orhow do you know she deffinantly did do it with them she might not of done but told you she has so she doesent feel out of place, either way take things slowly make her feel more in control and confident about it all and see what happens
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): you have to decide whether its worth the relationship if she give you a blow job or not. But you could try freaking her so she warms up to the idea. When I say freak her eat her ass out too or you could whip up something new. Then again she could have a personal reason for not wanting to try something new that you might need to ask and understand. In the end whether she gets freaky or not it is a question of will this ruin the relationship if she doesn't get freaky in bed.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): Dont make it too crazy. Just let her warm up little by little to the new ideas or just let her watch porn with you.
...............................
|
