A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So....I'm a lesbian in a long distance relationship. We've met online and we've planned to see each other. But then one day, she and her ex boyfriend who i didn't really worry about, made a plan. To move to California, Which is just a state over from where i live...but with each other and him supporting her. I felt horrible. Before she had planned to move with me. But when they were drunk as well as stoned they planned it out in Florida where she lives. So...she wants to move in with him, and have him pay for her until she gets a job in California for herself then she'll pay for it. Now where does this put me in the plan? She said i shouldn't be jealous and known better that she loves me more. But i really had to pull that answer out of her, cause when i asked her if she loved him more then me, she began to babble saying i don't know and saying how she loved him like a friend. And i asked again and she said some other things. And then told me how I had changed her life for the better, and got her back into school ((before she was with the same guy, the ex, just living off him, was trying to have a baby with him and had proposed to him..she's with me now since she found herself loving me instead)). Thats all she said. I had to ask again if i kicked his ass in the love department and shyly she said yeah i did. SOOOOOOo my question, should i really be worried? I mean if they are just friends i shouldn't worry heck she said he had invited me to live with them too! So i should be happy about it she says. I'm going to college it will take me 2 years to even reach california heck even having the money to pay for that place is expensive! XD
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drunk, her ex, jealous, lesbian, long distance, met online, money, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you two for the help, unfortunately I'm one of those people who can easily forgive OTL, so I tried to get myself to get myself to be okay with the situation. Which only made me depressed, as time went by I tried to talk to my gf about trying to fix things, and make it so i wasn't the only one being depressed, ever since i got upset about it she's ignored me only to hang out with her friends instead of having online dates I'll plan up.
Though she says she misses it when it was fun, now its just stress and depression each day i try to fix it...So she told me to take a break. So now we are in a break...without me really being ready about it..*sighs* my friends say i should just use the time to regain myself for the moment. She seems awfully nice to me, I was bawling the moment she started the break. and said i can call her whenever I feel like crying.
A
female
reader, Princess_Rae  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Anonymous,
You seriously need to consider the commitment level of this girl you are dating. This statement about her makes me seriously doubt the truth of her love for you: "before she was with the same guy, the ex, just living off him, was trying to have a baby with him and had proposed to him..she's with me now since she found herself loving me instead". I gather from that she is very random in who she gives her love to and living with this guy until you can be with her is only going to make her want to try all the bs again. She will also probably blame you for not being there when it does: "if you were able to be with so i wouldn't turn to him again". I can see this sad story building into an emotional epic from there.
I understand it is hard out there for lesbians, and appreciate how fortunate I am to have found a stable relationship. But you need to evaluate your self and your relationship with this girl and find out if you can do better. You are around your 20s and have much to look forward to especially since you are in college. There are plenty of us out there if you keep on looking.
I hope you take time to evaluate your self and this girl, who quite honestly seems to be stringing you along, and find out if this relationship is meant to last. You cannot and should not always be there to save her, and she will need it a lot.
Love,
Princess Rae
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