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My girlfriend wants sexual play involving her butt and I can't do it

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2012)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend is great. I really love her not to mention her intelligence, sense of humor and...amazing looks.

The other day we were had some shower sex that turned into regular sex -- recently she's been into 69, so that's what we did. To be honest, it doesn't do that much for me but she's into it so I tend not to complain. I'm grateful still; I can still vividly remember days when I was 16 and climbing the walls for sex. ahah.

We were in 69 position and she started to push her hips forward . In short, the distance between her...butt...and my lips was decreasing. I thought she wanted me to just go at it from a different angle, but I soon realized exactly what she she wanted.

It was awkward and I didn't do it.

Eventually she told me it something an ex of hers did and she eventually really liked it. She even said she misses the feeling.

That made me feel even worse because not only did I not do it...but I don't know if I ever could get myself to do that. It gives me such an "ick" feeling...yet not doing it makes me feel guilty.

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A male reader, JustHelpinAgain Canada +, writes (13 August 2012):

If you shower together then you can take care of hygiene and with some lube you could certainly try exploring her gently with a finger. BUT she tried blackmail mentioning the ex and if I were you I would tell her straight that you might have tried it eventually but now the thought of her ex doing it has killed any fun you might have had. I havent met a girl hot enough to make me want to do that, but I am still hoping!

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 August 2012):

olderthandirt agony auntHang in there...you're not being wierd..it's kinda nasty to think about it but if you want to get her off clean her up with moist wipes and go for it!

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A male reader, doublejack United States +, writes (10 August 2012):

If she's fresh out of the shower then sanitation shouldn't be an issue. If you're feeling experimental and brave, that would be the time to try it. Maybe it is because I'm older and more experienced, but I would do that on a freshly washed hot girl's bottom without hesitation.

As the others have said, though, if you are very repulsed by the idea then perhaps it is not for you. Your girlfriend, if she's respectful of you and your feelings, will be OK with that. If not then she will be showing how selfish she can be.

Best of luck!

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A male reader, Hennessy1989 United Kingdom +, writes (10 August 2012):

Hennessy1989 agony auntIf you really can't bring yourself to do it then don't, I think it's wrong of her to try and trip you into it by mentioning her ex, she should of had a bit more respect for you there, on the other hand don't knock it til you've tried it, get yourself a bit drunk and give it a go, if that's a no then stick to your guns

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A female reader, Just Gill United Kingdom +, writes (10 August 2012):

Just Gill agony auntYou love her, so i assume she loves you. You need to talk to her about the things your comfortable doing and things your not. Talking about sex is awesome! you get to discover your partner in a different way, plus your mind kicks in and your desires take over. It's good to talk about sex in a sense that you will discover new positions/fantasys. If the anal area is something thats uncomfortable with you then tell her. She can easily get the feeling back with using toys, and you can watch! But dont forget, it's not all about her...you need to do things you like aswell. this will pretty much spice up your love life a little bit more. Dont feel guilty for not doing something that you didnt want to do!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agree with everyone else...do not do what you do not want.

I can suggest that you can buy things called "finger cots" they are like condoms for fingers... made to protect healing fingers from fluids and such (like when you have stitches or a bandage on)... cheaper than condoms and the same idea... but it fits better.

personally we use anal play on a semi-regular basis for both of us....

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (10 August 2012):

person12345 agony auntIf you don't want to do it, don't! You shouldn't feel guilty. Explain to her that you love her but aren't willing to eat fecal matter and risk infection because it feels good for a few seconds. Personally I think risking e.coli is not a smart thing to do for a few seconds of pleasure, but that's just my opinion. You shouldn't feel guilty for refusing. Why not offer to rub the area with a well lubed finger (you can put a condom on your finger if you're worried about it being gross)?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntEveryone have their limits, if you don't want to do "that" then don't. I'm sure you can think of other things to do to please her.

I wouldn't put my mouth on anyone's anus either. It's just not for me.

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