A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my girlfriend and I are having twins together and her and I are both excited. She has two kids already from a previous relationship and their dad isn't around and so I've pretty much have been dad and I love her kids to pieces and they love me also. So almost a week ago we got into an argument and she told me to pack up and go cause we've been arguing for about a month straight now. I went and saw her yesterday and I told her if she gave me one more chance I'll make sure the arguing goes down big time and that I'm seeing a counselor for the arguing but she said she doesn't know and she needs more time to think about it. I'm just trying to figure out what I can do to show her I'm being serious. Any ideas? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 April 2015):
 It takes two to argue. Must it be you who have to move out? I will give you credit here because you are taking care of the other kids who aren't yours. It takes a generous heart to do this so I would feel she's a bit ungrateful for her to keep on arguing with you. After all your hard work this is what you get? Realistically this is not what she wants because being pregnant with twins, she is not able to take care of her other kids alone, unless she gets help from her parents. She got angry and is using her pregnancy as a way to have power in this relationship.
Also if you leave you are letting her step all over you. The only argument that I would accept is that you don't contribute to bills and are just freeloading at her place. Then I would see why she would want you gone. Otherwise a relationship is a partnership. You don't threaten someone, make them homeless just because you two can't communicate properly.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 April 2015):
 By giving her the space and time she needs.
THAT is how you show you are serious.
Getting counseling is good, BUT you two are obviously still fighting, so are you taking anything from the counseling?
And what are you fighting over?
She is a mother of 2, SOON of 4.. SHE doesn't need a GROWN ASS man-child on top of those kids.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015): She's pregnant, and she can't deal with the drama right now.
If she asked you to pack-up and go, oblige her. You should continue getting your counseling. Do that for yourself. It's not a good time for fighting, the stress can adversely effect her health and the pregnancy. Arguing for a month-straight is a very bad sign for a relationship. If you wanted to stick around, you would have practiced self-control from the start.
You are not only upsetting her, you're upsetting the children. Sorry, but you need to go!
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