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male
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*onfusedfatherandBF
writes: Am i being over possesive ?My Girlfriend/ ex girlfriend (current status unknown) tells me that i am a control freak and over possesive. It seams that my calling her during the day is causing this. I understand that basicly i should just stop calling her, so no problems there. The problem is that i don't think that i am over possesive. I call her to see that she is ok, as she is in a very emmotional state (see my other question).example 1she Texts me with a "can you find some info for me on the internet" I need it now, type question.I am working so my chances of returning a call are limited. On the first attempt to contact her, she is on the phone. One hour later i try again and get through.Me " sorry it took so long to get back to you, i tried an hour ago, but you where on the phone"Her "stop spying on me"example 2i get a very strange txt saying out of the blue, I don't want to see you for a few days (we normally see each other every day). This baffles me.I try calling, to find out hwat is up. over the next 8 hours i send 5 text messages, all saying "what is up, please call me".This confuses me. could it be that she has a being controlled phobia, or is it me. what can be done to help her realise that her actions are very hurtfull.Thanks
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male
reader, Suter  +, writes (6 February 2007):
Ok.This is a bit strange for me to be doing this, but i just want to hear what everyone else things.
I met this lovely women 6 months ago, we really hit it off so well.After a few months she asked me to move in with her and the kids.I of course said yes, but i need at least a few months to sort out my own things back home.
Anyway, cut a long story short, her ex boyfriend, started phoning in the early hours of the morning and sending texts, this was starting to do my head in and i said that she better sort this out or i will.
Then a couple of weeeks later, we got drunk at her place,having a good laugh and so on. then we went to bed and she fell straight to sleep. As was not ready and got up and went to the living room to watch tv. She comes in arguing the fact that i was in the mood and started shouting at me, she went back into the room and when i got back she was texting someone, of course i question her, and got alot a abuse back.
15 minutes later the door bell rang, this is at 11.00 at night, she opened the door and started to cry, there was a man, i asked who he was and he said a friend, i had a little word and he told me to leave, i said no.She then asked me to leave, so i did a stupid thing and drove home drunk..The next morning she called and said we need to talk as the kids heard everything.i came round and first thing i said was who was he....It was the ex....She said that it was a mistake....I love this woman so much, and i spent a fortune on her and the kids and even took them away before xmas..I even cooked xmas dinner for her and all the family... Then 26th December happened when we were on the town and he was there..All hell broke loose and she left me out in the cold all night until she came home at 11 in the morning..Thats when i packed my stuff and went..
Till this day, she said that she was at the hospital..I called the hospital and no one of her disciption or injury came in that night...As soon as i said that to her,,she went off the wall.....
Anyway, i know its a long one,,but what do you all think!!! I can't get her out of my mind as we really got on well.. until he came on the scene and my jealoucy kicked in...
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female
reader, caraduddy  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 Im like this with my x-boyfriend i want to know where he has been and trying to find out what i have done wrong.. this girl is sending mixed signals i think you need to have a word with her and say whats happening here? we need to sort things out do you want to be with me?..u say u texted 5 times .. 1 text will do. thats what she means ..you try to hard. some girls would love that but others may not. I hope everything works out ok.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): This girl has emotional problems. How old is she?Be careful - you will only end up getting yourself hurt.
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 I would like to have a boyfriend like you, you're very nice and lovely actually I think you shouldn't be so nice to her, it is her who is not behaving in a natural way maybe she has something to hide or it is just that her tamper is really bad somtime, I don't think you deserve such treatment, I wouldn't advice you to go on with her not to drop her but what about calling other girls just to talk or for a coffe? you'll notice she's the weird onegood luck and all my loveAstrid
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): I think her behavior is actually a little suspicious. Saying you called an hour ago and having her react with "stop spying on me" isn't a very good sign. It's almost as if she is trying very hard to hide something from you, and keep you from asking questions by saying you're just being too controlling. Tell her straight up that you really aren't being too possessive, you're just checking up on her like any good boyfriend should. Ask her why she reacts the way she does and why she doesn't want you calling her too often. She is definately getting too defensive and too secretive. What is she so afraid of you finding out about? This is something you really ought to figure out before you make any decisions. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel and tell her that it's actually a little strange of her to be so secretive. Ask her what's up. Although she may only get defensive in this situation, you owe it to yourself to do a little investigating. Her behavior says she's hiding something. I really hope everything works out for you. I wish you the best of luck. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Take care!
~RJGirl
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