A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now im 25 and she is 21 recently shes been acting a bit weird lately being distant from me and didnt want to get close to me or anything i came home early from work one day she was in the shower and had her laptop left on on the kitchen table i went to close it down and saw a conversation between her and this girl and she was telling her that I cant believe i spoke to you the other day and how she wished she asked her out and that she wanted to but her friend who doesnt live near here was in a way trying to make sense for her saying that I dont want you to do anything you will regret and we dont know how we will feel when we meet up etc but she then told her i'll sort it out i promise. I decided to not stay around the house and went for a walk to try and get my head around things I went home a few hours later and didnt say anything to her about it as I wanted to leave it a few days to see what happens.A few days later shes still being quite distant and we got into a huge argument and I told her i think your interested in someone else so why dont we just break up, you can be with him and be a lot happier as i love you that much to let you go and be happy she then told me that there isnt anyone else and just me and she told me she loved me you know the typically lovey dovey stuff and then she started being normal again and told me she has just been a bit grumpy lately and then the last few days she has been a completly different person and being all close and stuff.This whole thing is confusing me shes not bisexual but she is interested in her? She wants to be with her and sort it out but when she had her chance to leave me for her she didnt take it, I know that they havent met up yet and they both live far away from each other but im confused what to do now. Do I wait and see how this fans out? do i tell her i saw the conversation and want to know whats going on? Or do I just break up with her and really go threw with it and then she doesnt have me to fall back on when it doesnt work out cause thats the feeling why she is still with me right now.Thanx
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the above reposnses.Well we had another little argument which then turned abit sour and i said lets take a break from one another she's now living back in the flat and im now gone back with my parents for about a month.She told me she does'nt want to break up with me nor does she want to lose me and that she will wait for me after I've had my time alone but the time alone is'nt for me it's for her to discover who and what she wants now.
A
female
reader, Liza999  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 my answer to your situation may be completely off and not what you want to hear but it is just coming from my own experience...I think the meaning of truly loving someone is supporting them in whatever they want to do or experience. You showed her this support, how can she leave you? People leave each other when they are not able to be themselves, explore, find out who they are, have freedom. No one will leave someone that allows them that freedom. Can you be secure enough wihin yourself and within this relationship to allow her to see what this is about? I am sorry to say but I think she will do it behind your back anyways so why not do it front of you? Be the one that she can confide in about this be on her side of things support her put the ego away and be strong and open enough to have the conversation about it...this is a test for you and for your relationship..Can you Be the best friend that you can be? Can you be the most understanding loving boyfriend ever? Be that guy now and see what happens! Goodluck !!!
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (17 June 2010):
 I'm inclined to agree with your feeling that she's with you right now for the fallback reason. This would explain why she didn't jump at the chance to leave you when you offered it to her.
You mean you don't know for certain if she's bi or she's considering making the jump to play for the other team; could be she's considering an exploratory foray. You've obviously stumbled upon the evidence to support that at least something is afoot, here. You could tell her that you saw the exchange on the laptop and it made you curious to know what's going on there. I recommend sticking to the facts, though. Refrain from making accusations, that will serve only to put her on the defensive and you'll get nowhere fast. Try to make it a productive conversation rather than a destructive dust up. Whatever you decide: good luck!
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