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male
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writes: i am in a very complicated relationship. i dont know where its at or where its going, my girlfriend cant seem to make her mind up about me, our relation ship has been on and off for about the last 5 months.one week were going out the next were not.she tells me that she loves me as a friend and likes me a hell of alot as more than a friend, this is because of a previous relationship that ended about 8 or 9 months ago, that she cant seem to get over.she says she likes me soo much, but from the way she treats me sometimes i dont know if that is true.when were with her friends she prefers to talk to them and completly ignores me.she starts an argument out of nothing, like when she asks me to change the tv channel, she says ive done it all wrong.how come i keep making all these mistakes?where am i going wrong?does she really like me?what should i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): My friend im going through the same thing. my girlfriend says she loves me but yet she always starts fights for know reason and talks to me with no respct, now she has finished it with me because she feels that things arnt right and that its for the best if we take some time out, fact is i havent done anything wrong and i have always had respect for her even when she is being mean to me. i guess if she really loves you things might change and she will see shes got a good thing. at lest your still with her, im in a situation where im in so much pain i dont know if its finaly over or not. good luck
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female
reader, Virginiaac +, writes (21 December 2005):
Sometimes, if you have to ask yourself the questions you are asking, then deep down, you know the answers.
Get someone who appreciates YOU, this woman has no respect for you, let alone love. Find someone else.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2005): It seems that this girl is just acting crazy, she doesn't know what she wants and it is obvious from what you have written that she makes you feel underappreciated, she makes you feel as if you are the one who is always doing something wrong. The best thing to do is be strong enough to end this relationship as she is going through a phase where she doesn't know what she wants. You should be with someone who know's that she wants to be with you and will treat you right. You obviously care for this girl, that's why your asking for some advice but if she has brought you to the stage where you can't talk to her about your problems then you need to consider whether it is worth staying with her. Do you realistically think that things will be any better in a few months time. Perhaps if you leave this girl, or even give her some space she might be able to sort out her feelings and may realise that she wants to be with you. I think you should consider giving her some time to herself and in the meantime you should think about what your looking for from your relationship and life as a whole.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (21 December 2005):
 Hi dear, i dont think this girl is treating u right. You obviously arent happy in this relationship.If she had a rough relationship doesnt give her the right to take it on you. I had a very rough myself and i am not taking it out on my new partner.
If u really love her then try talking to her again. tell her u arent happy. Indicate to her what she has been doing wrong. U shouldnt allow her to walk all over you.
If u do this and there isnt any change then i am afraid you just have to look for someone else who will treat with more respect.
I hope i helped a little. dont worry too much go out and enjoy yourself. u seem like a nice guy and i wish u the very best.
Have merry xmas and a happy new year.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2005): Hun, she has too much prior baggage and you have to ask yourself, if you really want all the grief she's dishing out to you? You sound like you are on a the biggest "emotional' rollercoaster ride of your life here and you're hanging in there, for dear life. This is not right and you shouldn't have to do this. Dating should be fun, playful, flirty..lots of laughs. Let this girl go. Go and experience fun..love..happiness with different people. Dating is a form of "shopping around". You deserve better than what you are getting here. Find someone better suited to you-someone who treats you with respect, someone you can give to and someone who gives back. This girl seems like a "taker"-I personally think she may be using you until a better offer comes along. She's too confused and doesn't seem to know what the heck, she really wants. Call it day and move on. Sorry to be harsh but that's just the way I'm see it. Take care and be strong.
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reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (21 December 2005):
 Your not the one making all the mistakes different people take different amounts of time to get over relationships. Go slow and have fun with her. Treat it as though you love spending time with her but you have other things to do and she will come around. You keep thinking your going wrong the only wrong is thinking that way. Just cool it for now and it'll come around. As for liking you if she didn't then she wouldn't spend any time with you. It's very hard to talk openly with the one you really like. So maybe her comfort zone is talking with her friends. Try being one of the girls and see if she'll talk more to you. Better yet try talking to one of her friends and she'll come around. Do not say anything you might regret to her friends it will come back and haunt you. As for what you should do well if it were me I'd think that if you really want to spend the rest of you life with her then I'd analize how long 70 years is and break it down into how old you are and factor in a few bad years and see if that's really what you had in mind. Good luck. Ed
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