A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We were both virgins when we met and were planning on getting married before we had sex but things turned out differently. After around 1.7 years of dating we had sex and have been having sex often since then (being safe) she is not on birth control but we use condoms. The sex we have is great according to her and she has multiple orgasms every time. We don't have an abusive relationship and we are best friends who hang out and talk all the time.The problems comes here:Recently she has told me that she really loves me and is attracted to what a great guy I am etc. She says that she is not often sexually attracted to me and it really frustrates her and saddens me. She really wants to be sexually attracted --"I want to feel sexual towards you well more so and i want to be super turned on when I think about you" -Her words to me. One possibility in her mind is that we have been together so long and sex is no longer new and exciting. She says that she is attracted to other people purely sexually but in no other way and she even says that they aren't that attractive either. She has no idea why she isn't attracted to me and has no clue why she is attracted to other guys sexually. The sex we have is not boring in my opinion and she says the same. It hurts me so bad that she is sexually attracted to other people but not to me. I am physically fit (I do 2K in the pool every day no lie) and she thinks Im handsome and I have been told by other women that I am good looking. Am I doing something wrong? Do I need to change something up to make her more sexually attracted to me? Is it her somehow?
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male
reader, MRmotto69 +, writes (4 December 2010):
First off, Your relationship is a total mystery to everyone because you haven't given much background. but if forced to guess I might say that you two spend a lot of time with each other out side of the bed, is that not correct? if so then you may be smothering each other. maybe try sleeping (actual sleep) in different beds and only get together in the same bed for sex. Again I might be just guessing.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (4 December 2010):
I'm afread YouWish made a pretty accurate comment. Women around that age (18-21) tend to start feeling bored if they're tied down too early. I've seen it happen plenty of times where a long-term healthy relationship has gone to hell because someone feels they are, as YouWish put it, missing out on adventure.
There really is nothing you can do about it, but since you guys seem to have very good communication between one another try bringing this up and ask her if its an accurate assumption or not. If not, good. If so, well it will take a lot more talking to figure out exactly what it is you both want to do about it.
Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (4 December 2010):
Its a misconception that if they love you then sex shouldn't be a problem, she need to be into as well as love you. )Ou need to back away from sex and only do it when she wants it. Before and after that chase her again. Let her know how special she is and know one is better. We take things for granted and can't figure out why is it not working.
She maybe feeding off of those guys that make her laugh and seem sweet to her more then there physical appearance. Someone will steal her from you if you keep a blind eye to this.
Just because is big for a reason. Walk in there with flowers not because of a holiday, but because you care. Trust me on this dude, when you treat her special she become wet on the thought of you or the not so attracted guy with his smooth talk and a simple card to her has a chance. Block him and do it yourself. Most women will stay faithful if they have what they need at home, guys well they do it and hope for forgiveness.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 December 2010):
 This has everything to do with age. If she is your age, she is feeling like she might be missing out on what else is out there. You're not doing anything wrong. The only thing you can do is let her go to find out that she is making a big mistake by letting you go.
This has to do with wanderlust and wanting a sense of adventure, and the thought of possibly missing out. You and she are serious, and maybe she's thinking about whether she's okay with you being the only one in her life.
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A
female
reader, danjammin +, writes (4 December 2010):
You're sex may not be boring, but maybe she's bored with it. Try new things in bed, like sex toys, role playing, food in bed, weird places to have sex. Do it randomly and she will become more excited and may not know what to expect next and be excited for the next time. I don't really know why she feels like this but just give it a shot! Buy her some sexy lingerie, i know some couples who watch porn together. just some ideas :)
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