A
male
age
30-35,
*izhak322
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 10 months now and she never shows affection toward me.She always finds ways whereby we don't have quality time together like going shopping or meeting up with friends.The thing that upsets me is that with her exs, she has shown them love an even had sex with them within 2 months although she has never done it with me and always makes excuses.I have read up everywhere for help, I organise time for just us, get her flowers and pay for hotels and everything.I mean she was just stressed so I gave her a massage and kissed her neck to cheer her up. She then fell asleep and wants to sleep now although when I asked if we could just lay down and talk together and enjoy our company, she said " oh if we have enough time".I try talking to her and she either has a rant about it's all I want to do, or says "yeah that's cool" and it never happens.Her best friend is always saying how much she loves her boyfriend and all I wish is that we could be like that, it makes me jealous.Please help because I love her so much and never want to lose her but at the same time I'm so upset that the amouts of affection I give and the love I share is not appreciated.What do I do?Thanks
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best friend, flowers, her ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): My advice to you is leave her then give yourself time to take stock & figure out what you might have done wrong & what might be wrong with her!
If she can't handle a guy who treats her well then perhaps she feels she doesn't deserve it, perhaps she's got self-esteem issues or maybe she needs excitement all the time.
I try to be a decent guy myself & there's been occasion where it has been received badly by the opposite sex. I know how painful it is but you need to ask yourself, what do you deserve? Do you deserve to be treated in this way or don't you think you deserve better?
Once you answer that question, you'll know what to do.
There are billion of women out there, she is just one!
Good luck!!!
A
male
reader, Kizhak322 +, writes (13 June 2010):
Kizhak322 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all for your help. I have spoken to her and she says that she was made to do it by all her exs and that she just never feels in the mood with me. Granted we do hug sometimes and "peck" kiss but it seems the nice things like long kisses or even just laying down we can never do.
I have broken up with her a few times before but I find it hard to be without her. I may just tell her direct that I'm feeling stressed by all this and that her lack of consideration for me is upsetting me and could ruin my sex drive.
Thanks everyone for the support and if it carries on, she may just lose the one guy who was ever decent to her.
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A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (13 June 2010):
Move away for your own sanity and sexual health:
10 months and no pants - off activities ?
Get real - she's using you as a cuddly toy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): You have been reading the wrong books my friend. You're just too much of a good guy. The more you'll try the worse it will get.. no massages, no gifts.... but please.. don't think i'm giving you an advice to be an asshole. You just need to man up!! Women are different than what was portrayed in romantic films.. they don't actually want a prince on a horse, nor a badboy/asshole.. they need a man.. a man that knows how to demand what he wants and a man that knows how to make their head spin... years of experience behind this .... just become a man.. all what it takes..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): Ok, sorry, dude, but she ain't that into you. If she's letting other guys deliver the meat wagon while your's has been gased up for 5 times as long as the others' before their special deliveries, there's omsething wrong. She clearly doesn't like you that way. It hurts, but it will not get better. Before yuou invest more time into this relationship, move on. You are only hurting yourself, and delaying the inevitable dump (by her of you!). She's waiting for her ex(s) to come back, or waiting to upgrade. I think you already know that.... Time to protect your heart and your dignity. You know she's using you. Re-read what you wrote, and depend you were give advice to a friend: move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): okay dont get too upset, maybe she wants to wait for a special moment or maybe she just doesn't like you that much either way tell her how you are feeling and im sure she will appreciate it. good luck :)
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