A
male
age
30-35,
*exed
writes:Ok well unfortuantly I don't exactly have the most self-confidence and well i'm often subject to be jealous of one of my gf's ex's they did it about 35 times while they were together over about 8 months or something like that (I know unfortunately because I asked, i'm wierd like that) . And well now to me that is sorta alot (just because I havn't done it at all I guess) and now i'm scared I won't be as good and well i'm just jealous because it's rather high (to me) and I don't like him xD but I get really depressed about it and it affects her since i'm kinda open to her even if she says it's ok, she has her own problems I want to help I can't let my stupid problems get in the way.So any advice on how I could get over the jealousy?
View related questions:
depressed, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Vexed +, writes (13 July 2008):
Vexed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone it helped alot ^^
Ermm.. I'm not much with words but thanks again I feel alot better ^^
And she knows I am one and she's being nice about it ^^;
A
male
reader, Vexed +, writes (13 July 2008):
Vexed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone it helped alot ^^Ermm.. I'm not much with words but thanks again I feel a lot better ^^And she knows I am one and she's being nice about it ^^;
...............................
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (12 July 2008):
 It doesnt matter how many times she did it with him, once she had done it with him then each time would probably have been pretty much the same with the odd bad day and the odd good day!
Concentrate on the here and now, it is your first time TOGETHER and that is all that matters. Just take your time, be gentle and considerate and caring, show her how much she means to you, let her guide you if she wants to and stop worrying. The past is past x
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): You're normal, you're feeling a normal emotion, and you probably can't ever get over it for the rest of your life.
The deluded & unfair people are the ones who tell you that your unreasonable insecurity & jealously is the source of the entire problem.
The real source of the problem is that you're being asked to accept something that men never normally felt okay about for the entire history of the human race until about 50 years ago. Unfortunately your biology doesn't know anything about what year it is.
There's nothing you can do. Natural feelings don't always leave room for fairness and good relationships.
For a while, the right thing to do is admit how you're feeling to her so that you're "keeping communication open."
But eventually you're supposed to have "grown up" and gotten over it, which of course won't ever happen. So eventually you'll have to just stop admitting that it bothers you, even though it still does every bit as much as it ever did.
Welcome to the rest of your life with any modern girl.
...............................
A
female
reader, inloveoutofmind  +, writes (12 July 2008):
ok try this:
plan a special talk night :) i know it sounds weird but its only one time a week where you talk bout everything thats bothering you. suggest it to her she will be on board and think its very cool that you brought it up. that way you dont feel like your bothering her all the time :) and tell her how you feel and ask what she truly feels bout it. explain to her that you feel self conscious bout it and that you need a little bit of reassurance
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 Hi mate,
normally I get very angry when guys start obsessing over their girlfriends past, as it is none of their business.
But you are a little different you at least know that it is wrong and you are sensitive to her needs.
So believe me champ, 35 times is nothing in a normal boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Add a zero or two onto that for most couples.
It's just your inexperience that is causing you concern.
Be honest with her and tell her you are a virgin, and remember don't buy into this male chauvenist crap about used goods and other stupid insecure poor me rubbish. She will think its cute if you tell her you are a virgin.
good luck.
...............................
|
