A
male
age
30-35,
*ayce
writes:Hey there, Been with my girlfriend for just about 3 months... Have known her for about 8 but have always been informed she was "out of the game"... Unfortunately i originally have a bad reputation but have fallen head over heels for her.... The problem i have is she seems really flirtacious with other guys at parties like sometimes ignoring me in order to talk to other guys she hasnt met... Shes a virgin and i guess as i like to put it "too innocent for her own good"... I suffer from major jealousy issues and due to how stunning she is draws alot of attention, have found myself telling blokes where to go on several occasions and always end up "the bad guy"... I dont ask to be the way i am but am i crazy to think its not 1 sided?... Another recent issue would be a friend of mine (male) has invited her on holiday with him originally for a group of us and due to some bullshit that i find hard to believe hes only able to take my gf and himself... Admitting to me he didnt want me to come in first place because me and gf would disappear to the hotel room too often... I cant help but think bad stuff... But my gf insists its just him being friendly... Starting to understand the too innocent for own good?... I realise this question is goin on forever so i'll stop... Long story short i love her and i trust her... Just dont trust the bastards that talk to her coz what she see's as friendly i see as "predators"...
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male
reader, Jayce +, writes (31 May 2010):
Jayce is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'd like to thank you very much for your reply as what you have said is very true and its just a matter of getting to the stage where i can laugh at them... I do already enjoy introducing myself to them as her fella and watching their face drop as you said is priceless, just the occasional attempt on her part to say that shes in a relationship might stop me from building up all these problems in the process :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): I think Cerberus has given you excellent advice. In her mind as it is totally innocent she is just enjoying talking to them. About your friend and the holiday. If she does go with only him then you should dump her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): I know how it feels to be in your situation and it sucks. One of my ex's was very much this type of girl and I had a hard time dealing with her interactions with other guys. The thing is my ex never could see what I saw, for some reason she just couldn't see the difference between being chatted up and a friendly chat.
She was very naive to the fact that a girl as pretty as her isn't going to have very many 'friendly chats' especially with single guys and especially when there's drink involved and from across the room it's as obvious as the nose on her face what the guys intentions are. Needless to say we had quite a few problems with this as she was completely oblivious but I could see these guys winking at their friends and doing the usual crap when they think they've scored, that made me crazy.
The only way I found to remedy this was to let her get on with it, she liked the attention and as long as in her mind they were friendly chats then it didn't matter. I conditioned my mind to laugh and sometimes feel pity for these guys because while her friendly, flirtatious demeaner gave them the impression that they'd 'scored' I knew that it was me she going home with at the end of the night and I was actually the one that was going to benefit from them making her feel good about herself. Really, when you get to that stage it's win win.
Plus it was fun to go over every now and again while she was talking to the more smug guys, wrap my arms around her give her a loving kiss then introduce myself to the guy. The guys reaction is priceless.
You have to stop making such a big deal of this, jealousy can poison a relationship and I fear you're projecting your own reputation onto these guys. You said you trust her then let her enjoy herself, there's nothing good about being overbearing, jealous and possessive. You'll suffocate her with this kind of behaviour and it's not like she won't have enough options or temptation to find someone else if this gets worse. There really is no point in worrying about something that might never happen that will only ruin whats supposed to be a beautiful thing.
You don't need to trust these guys because you trust her, just sit back and watch these fools try and fail.
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