A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am female and i am in a relationship with a girl we have been together over a year now and in November i proposed to her on our year anniversary she said yes. the only thing is six month into our relationship she cheated on she told me straight away after it happened and she said it was only a kiss it meant nothing the girl in question i have met a few times shes been a friend of my gf for 5yrs. so i forgave her i love her so much it was just one mistake and i believe her when she said she never wanted it to happen she was just wrong place wrong time and the other girl took advantage ect. so here i am now 6months on engaged to her and im still thinking bout when she cheated on me because i know for a fact she still sees the girl shes told me shes been out for lunch with her and they still text each other my gf says she dont wanna loose her friendship they been friends for too long to let a little meaningless kiss ruin it. but the other girl in question fancies my gf and i know this because i know i shouldn't have done but i checked my gf phone and found very suggestive texts and photos from this girl why did she keep them if it meant nothing she has even bought her an xmas present while we were shopping together and this girls name comes up in conversation a lot. i love my gf so much and the thought of us not being together upsets me i dont wanna loose her maybe thats why i am still with her and put up with the fact i think she still sees this woman. also our sex life is virtually non existent i try everything be romantic spontaneous and she just makes excuses she tiered not feeling well or she feels awkward cos she lives at home and we dont get our own privacy which i do understand but b4 this kiss happened our sex life was good and even when we do have sex she doesnt participate in other words i always give and get nothing in return.please can i have some advice what do i do, i have tried to talk bout but she just says see she will come between us eventually it meant nothing. please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 December 2009):
You can't get married when you are having all these issues.
Separate them down.
Number 1. You have to tell her that you have nothing against her having female friends, but when one of those friends fancies them openly she has to step back and end it. Otherwise she is just hurting you both and using you both.
Number 2. If she's not into sex any more then there is something going on in her head.
Talk to her and say it's not about the cheating, that is gone and forgotten.
It is about the fact she doesn't want you and she continues to seek the romantic attention of other girls. Tell her you need to sort this out once and for all or it needs to end.
Yes you love her but there is no point staying with a girl who doesn't make you happy. At the moment you are unhappy so you need to be prepared to leave.
Good Luck!! xx
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