A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year and I don't feel she is affectionate enough now as she was before. (I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX) I have talked to her about this and she feels that it is just her personality. Sometimes i wonder weather she loves me or not. Has anybody who has been in a relationship had this issue as well? And if yes what did you do? She is a great person otherwise. It is that I am just not used to it. Should I be patient or do you think I will end up being frustated in the end? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, laura585  +, writes (7 July 2009):
Oh I realized I just told you my story and didnt offer any advice (sorry!) be patient with your girlfriend - if she says she loves you, and is with you- its more than likely true. If this does become a major problem for you sit down and talk to her about it. Me and my ex talked about it and I tried being more affectionate but I guess he wanted to be smothered in physical affection all day long because whatever I did wasnt enough- hopefully you are not so needy :)
A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (7 July 2009):
Well I feel like I'm about to give advice to one of my ex's :) I myself am not a very affectionate person- at first, of course, but after a while it just doesnt have as much meaning as it did in the beginning (the affection, not the relationship) tho my feelings for him didnt waiver he needed the confirmation thru physical and verbal affection. Maybe your girlfriend grew up in a home similar to mine- my parents didnt shower me with hugs and kisses or tell me they loved me everyday all day- it was just a known fact and there was no need to question it. I never wondered if they loved me so it never bothered me when I didnt hear it. So that has rubbed off on me and is a part of my personality too. Maybe she just assumes you know she loves you, and assumes you love her too- so constantly reminding each other isn't neccesary to her. It may end up leaving you frustrated as this was the problem with my relationship- he said he felt like I just didnt care, I did, I told him that but it just wasnt enough to keep him
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A
male
reader, rugmonkey +, writes (7 July 2009):
It's not uncommon for public displays of affection to calm down after a few months. This isn't necessarily an indication that she loves you any less, but possibly an indication that she is no longer "in lust" with you.
Your best bet would be to talk to any mutual friends who have seen her behavior in previous relationships. Is this really her personality? Or, has she behaved more affectionately in previous relationships?
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