A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,My girlfriend left for the weekend with some friends. She told me that she will be staying in contact with me the whole weekend. She kept her promise all the way until yesterday afternoon when she texted me. I replied to her later on but she never replied back. So I text here several more times...again no response. I texted her this morning an called a few more times today. Still no response! She's not returning my phone calls or text at all. Some of my text showed a signs of being a little upset but nothing to extreme. I think I know what to do but I don't to get ahead of myself. What do you all suggest?In addition, What bugs me about this is she sat there and told me she will contact me the whole time. I told her that she may know some of the people there but don't trust no one. That's when she promised me that she will not be drinking. I know I may be overreacting but I'm concerned.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet me also add our neighbors were telling her not to go because some of the people that she did not know seemed up to no good.
In addition, I do believe I messed up with what I was doing. What do you suggest I do to bring back lines of communication?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate the response. Right after I posted this I decided to send her text apologizing and I told her to have fun. I felt like an azz after I sat down and thought about it regardless if she told me she was going to stay in contact with me.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Okay, you're being too clingy to this girl. She's gone for a weekend, not 4 months, and she stayed in contact until yesterday. You're smothering her big time.
It's good for a relationship to "breathe", meaning sometimes it's good to take a break from the other person for a few days. Also, I assume that she's around the same age as you, or at least over 21? Why would you make her promise not to drink? If she wants to, and she's not a recovering alcoholic in a 12-step program, she's an adult and can drink!
Back to today. You called her several times and texted her several times in a 24-hour period, each time a bit more upsetting. As sure as you breathe, if you keep treating her this way, you're going to lose her. You *have* to trust her when she goes out with friends. It doesn't matter if you don't trust anyone else, you *must* trust her. Let there be a few days where you don't contact each other. Let her miss you and want to be around you. Let yourself miss her for a few days, which will make the time you do spend together much sweeter.
A relationship is like a plant. You water it too much, and it drowns. Smother and cling to a relationship too much, and it will die. It's a balance, but you have to learn it.
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