A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well my situation is as follows... I am 21 years old and my girlfriend is 20. We have been dating for a little over 4 1/2 years! I just recently bought my first house about 5 weeks ago and we have been living with each other since. We have a great relationship, awsome expieriences, never got old. Until about 2 weeks ago. She went on a trip with her friend and her family. I didnt mind, ive got nothing against her having friends and such. However, I find out her friend had friends and her brother and his friends go do, they drank every night. Okay, I let it go. Next thing you know shes hanging out with this girl a few nights a week, partying, drinking, etc. But she doesnt come home, she stays out. Things just didnt feel right when we were together. I know exactly what it looks like... shes cheated on me. Well I called her out on it. She swore on her mothers life she did not cheat on me. But she doesnt know how she feels and she is really confused. I ultimately responded by asking her to be physically loyal to me and I agreed to back off and give her some space. She is continuing to hang out with her friends, hasnt been home in 4 nights, and its killing me!!! I cant eat, I cant sleep, now Im confused. Im trying my absolutle hardest to give her some space and not push her away, but am I crazy?? What do I do??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Thank you for the congrats. I am not neccessarly financially well off. But I have worked my ass off for every penny I have. After talking with her some more, I am convinced she has not cheated on me. However, its been about 3 weeks now and she stays out more than she comes home to be with me. I dont know how much longer I can last giving her this much space. But Im so afraid if I ask her to leave, shell never come back. I love her with all my heart, more that I can even explain. I sit here shaking just talking about out. I want to give her, her space but I dont know how much I can give her. I trust her, I really do but I feel as though if she cant go out then come home to me than shes not being very comitted to me. Its been a couple weeks, how long does she need?
A
male
reader, E-brake +, writes (23 August 2010):
1st bravo to you, buying your 1st house @ 21! 2nd I went thru this myself. If you're in a position to purchase a house @ 21 I would assume you're in a good place financially....but a girl @ 20 years old no matter how much money is being waved in front of them...fantasize about being in the spot light and partying with Lynsey Lohan and being caught on TMZ. I'm rambling. The point is, if you think you can trust her to be faithful then let her go out and enjoy herself...you don't want to end up marrying her and have her resent you for stealing her youth!
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A
female
reader, heartbroken101  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 you need to sit down and talk CALMLY and communicate your worries and concerns. you love her clearly and you dont want to lose her. but you also have to trust her. 4 nights is alot and dont jump to conclusions she is cheating on you. tell her that if she does shes lost you. but maybe negotiate how long exactly she goes out for...4 nights is prettttty long. maybe go with her next time and hang out and have a good time. just talk to her about it all first. tell her what your feeling.
goodluckk
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