A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,My girlfriend and i have been together for 2 years i am 22 she is 19 she has just started to go out with her friends in the day that she used to know at school which is fine she can do what she wantsi do have a problem however when she meets up with these guys who clearly like her and think she has got in touch for something more than to hang out, my girlfriend is very immature and very clueless about these things cause as far as she is concerned she wouldnt cheat anyway so it doesnt matter. I have 100% trust in her but to me why put yourself in that situation i find it very disrespectful to melast night i went into her and she was on facebook messaging a guy it was pretty innocent until this - she said you should come out with me so she give him her number to which he replied "now were getting somewhere dont you think xx" to which she replied what do you mean? - that was then end of the facebook convo and she has no idea i have seen itI know for a fact she is planning on meeting him on thursday and she is geniunely just going to talk about school days etc but what winds me up is whats going through his head and on top of it he wll be texting 24/7 now and she sees no problem in that, so my question is what do you think is the best way to handle it let her make her own mistakes or confront her about it? hope you can all help me and sorry if i wrote some words wrong am rushing it at work - thanks guys and girls
View related questions:
at work, facebook, immature, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): Thanks for the replies everyone I tried to have a chat with her about it but she accused me of being jealous and she seems more like she knows what the guys after but isn't bothered because she sees it as he can't have me and thats that.
seems my only option is to keep my mouth shut in future and let her do whatever she thinks is right cause it just ends in an argument will see what happens tonight when the chat from last night is continued
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (8 September 2011):
I think you show a lot of understanding to be able to approach the situation in the way you do. The short answer is, she needs to learn how things work and to make her own mistakes, but at the same time you can talk to her, and tell her how you feel.
To me it would be a good idea to communicate your thoughts to her in a way that expresses your feelings, without accusing her of anything; that you think she would be naive to assume that guys have the same innocent intentions as she does, and that as a guy you don't like the thought of these other guys wanting to meet her to pursue her with different intentions and pressure her for more than she wants to give, but that you know she only has friendly intentions and that you trust her 100% so it is fine for her to be friendly towards other guys, and give them the benifit of the doubt, and that she can judge the situation as it arises.
This approach gives your girlfriend the freedom to be herself and learn from her mistakes, and shows that you trust her which she will really appreciate, it will inspire her trustworthiness and confidence to be herself, and it indicates a healthy relationship that you can take this option.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Let her make her own mistakes. I mean she needs to learn things on her own, you can't baby sit her or "control check" every guy she meets either.
Perhaps instead of teaching her (don't ever say that to her though, it is offensive and she will without doubt have a go at you if you say you need to teach her), state things you see that are obvious.
Like when a man is obviously flirting with her. Say: "He's flirting with you". However be careful. You aren't necessarily correct with what you deem flirting. That message on facebook for example, to me, doesn't mean he's flirting. You don't know the context. And, friendly flirting is allowed.
However I understand all too well what you mean. I had a boyfriend once who was so dim about flirting that a girl once pulled him into the bathroom at a party and flashed her tits to him, and he still didn't think anything of it. Not to mention girls chatting him up and asking for his phone number, then asking if he's single, and he still didn't get it. But what are you to do? As long as they don't cheat, and understand what cheating would be... well, then it's the flirters who are wasting their time and you can sleep comfortably.
I say let her be. It's not disrespectful when she has no idea and is just gullible. Take it as a part of who she is and laugh about it instead of getting offended. As long as she makes you feel loved and that you are number one and know she will always be faithful, it's ok. It's no one elses business but yours and hers how you deal with things in your relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): I think you should sit down and tell her how you feel. Don't accuse her of things, talk in "I" I feel, I think. She will probably realise that men doesn't thing like us and she will be more carefull in the future goodluck!
...............................
|
