A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi thereI wrote before about my girlfriend always wanting to talk on the phone and text. I had a discussion with her and she said she would try not to be so clingy. Unfortunately that didn't go far. Today she said I don't message much after 9 pm and why? Well I work early as I explained to her several times. Then she said she looked on her call logs and counted them. Stating I called 10 times in 5 months. So I looked through my call log and took a screenshot that I called 75 times . I told her she has too much time on her hands and I need to do some thinking. She agreed but is now freaking out . Did I do the right thing?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2021): To me she sounds insecure on the outside she may not 'look' insecure but deep inside she could be and she messages and rings a lot because she might feel she could lose you so she's holding on a bit too tight
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2021): Hopefully she will give you the sack and hire someone else to take your place. or you could wise up and resign.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2021): Well, she brought it up. You responded, and countered her figures with more accurate figures. You call more often then she claimed. Apparently, it's not enough. You did the right thing. Now she has to deal with it like an adult; and find other constructive ways to fill her idle-time.
If you live in separate places, and you're following covid safety precautions; you don't get to visit in-person as much as you might want to. That leaves communication by devices. You might want to use a face-timing app and designate mutually-agreeable times to chat and keep each-other company. I can't fault you, I don't particularly enjoy texting or phone-chatting all day and everyday with the same person. Some people can be on the phone for hours, and will call you several times a day.
Your girlfriend is your romantic-partner; so you have be a little flexible or indulgent. Let her know when you're busy, or too tired for a long conversation. Sometimes when we avoid addressing a problem directly, that is the reason the problem persists. It will hurt her feelings; but she is also a grown-up. You don't have to rudely tell her she has too much free-time. There isn't much anybody can do, but work from home these days. Try to get-in some exercise, if you have the equipment and space. Some people are unemployed, and the loneliness and isolation is driving them bonkers! Be just as kind and considerate as you are direct, when dealing with her complaints.
Yes, maybe she is an adult with too much free-time; but she's also reminding you that you have a girlfriend. If that has run it's course, best you let her know; and not avoid her with excuses. Maybe she correctly senses there is something wrong, if you seem annoyed whenever you hear from her.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 January 2021):
 You definitely did the right thing.
Next she will check how many minutes YOUR calls were versus those she initiated. How many texts you sent... blah blah blah.
Are you dating a teenager?
While I think it's GOOD to bring up things in a relationship you feel isn't working or that rubs you the wrong way - this? Makes me think she is immature, clingy and needy. And on top of that, she even LIED about the number of time you called to MAKE you feel bad?! WTF!
And I also get that in these times of the Plague, we can't SEE people as much in person that some people might feel a BIGGER need for contact. I get that, but this?
Yeah, I would not be happy about that.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 January 2021):
 Let her freak out. It's high time this woman had a taste of what it means to be outside your grace.
People like her, these self absorbed people who care nothing about the needs and boundaries of others, lure their victims in by pretending to be helpless.
OP, I've been on this sight for over a decade, and I've read countless posts just like yours, ad nauseum. I've also experienced some of them first hand and observed them in real life.
These people do not change. They don't lift a finger to help themselves. They're spiritual leeches. They're like the morbidly obese person who promises to change, while stealing your credit card to buy more junk food, then crying when they get caught...AGAIN.
Do yourself, and her a favour, and just toss this one.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (11 January 2021):
 I think you did the right thing, from the limited information that we know about you and your girlfriend, it does not sound like much of a relationship.
She is providing you with statistics on how many times you have called during a certain time frame. Statistics is something you get at work to acertain how well someone has performed. You should not have to go through this in a relationship.
She does need to stop being so clingy and work on her insecurities.
Maybe a break away to collect your thoughts will do you both good. So yes i think you did the right thing.
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