A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, here goes nothing. I've been in a serious relationship with this girl for about a year and a half now, and I've been completely honest with my feelings for her. I've told her how much I love her and honestly think that she's the one for me, and up until now I've had no doubt that she's had the same feelings. However, we got into it three weeks ago, because I got angry that she had been hanging out with one of her friends that complains about how I'm obsessive/possessive all the time without even knowing me. It doesn't help that she hangs out with her and drinks all the time, which makes me worry that her friend is going to try to hook her up with another guy. Later that night, I got a text from my g/f, telling me that someone she knows from high school told her that I was flirting with some girl at college (for the record, I don't even talk to other people at school, so this hurt a lot). She's decided that she needs space to "think and work on personal issues", and things are getting weird. She refuses to kiss me when I see her now, barely wants to hug me, and hesitates to reply when I tell her I love her. She tells me that she doesn't want us to be romantic for a while and that we need to focus on the friendship aspect of our relationship for now, but not in a way that we're seeing other people. I think she said she wants to put the romantic stuff on pause or something like that. We've been talking through phone calls, IM's, and text messages every couple of days but that's it. When I noticed she had changed her status on Myspace to single, I called her to ask about it and she acted like it wasn't anything serious, telling me that if she wanted to end things she wouldn't be talking to me at all.This is my first serious relationship, so I have no idea what to do, or what to think. I'm at wit's end right now, and I need to know if I should be worried about things ending or if this is just something she's going to get over and things will get back to normal. I really care for her very deeply, but I'm starting to feel hurt and pushed away. Can anyone help me figure out what's going on here?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): i am going through the exact same thing, except that my girlfriend slept with someone before everything happens. that hurt my feeling a lot - a hell lot. i am confused about what to do too. she convinces me that we should keep an open relationship and slow down everything, otherwise our relationship has no chance of survival. she also told me i should focus on other more important things in life for now - building up friendships, enlarging social circles, etc. well, but i am feeling so bad right now that i can't do anything progressive. i tried to be romantic with my gf, but she told me in my face that only make her feel pressured and irritated. i am confused.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): It sounds as if she needs some "space", and I think it might be good if you also take advantage of the opportunity to go out and mix with friends. Do not just sit at home and wonder and worry about her.The more you are going to put pressure on her now, the better the chances that you will loose her completely.Go out and find ways to keep yourself occupied.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, jennlynn27 +, writes (8 June 2008):
 Sounds like you should give her space. Something is going on with her. It could be she's seeing someone else but isn't sure how to tell you. I would give her space. Be her friend if thats what she wants. But honestly sounds like she just wants to be friends.
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