A
male
age
41-50,
*wandalin
writes:Hello. My girlfriend an I have been together for 2 years now and things have taken a huge change. She has a problem keeping her word on most things, she is never in the mood for sex even though she always tells me " I want you to just take me" or " No i like it when you do that" or the even most common "Maybe later" and later Never happens. We of course have talked about this many times. The thing is she shows all the signs of someone thats cheating but of course she swears shes isnt. That is something i can believe considering she sits on the computer or in front of a tv all day. The other thing is Everything is more important than me. I understand family being above me. I respect that and I am fine with that. She places he cats above me,the tv,the computer and anything else in life. I was having some kind of attack just the other day when i was at walmart with my mother because of many things in my life all going bad. I called her after going outside to get air and sit down to help calm me and get emotional support. I called and it was me asking her for help while she was playing World of Warcraft. She hardly said a word to me. The only person in her life than influances her at all is her mother or me when im actually finally very very upset. Well i hung up on her and did my best to steady myself. It took me calling her back and upsetting myself again to finally get her attention and start listening to me. She also always gets VERY angry when i am trying to talk to her about our relationship and its problems. She never takes it calm and easy. I of course am a male and i have to say i am proud to be one of the non typical ones. I do everything i can for her. I rub her back when she wants it. I shower her in attention. I make her feel like a queen when it comes to things i do for her. I can honestly say i have even had sex with HER many times when i didnt feel like it. Thats because i know thats the only time i will get to make love to her and also i know that relationships arent just love and caring but also sacrifice of what you want or dont want. Its a non selfish commentment (pardon my spelling please) to one another. I have wrote these kind of things in a blog on my myspace page. She's read it and agreed with it. What should I do? I love her more than anything in the world but I am tired of her getting pissed off because I am trying to talk to her about our relationship and how she is actually causing problems and then she has the nerve to get pissed mainly about "It just keeps repeating and im tired of hearing the same thing over and over" All i could reply with was "For a record to skip and repeat itself must means it keeps hitting the same scratch or blemish on its surface. I do not wish to sound conceated but I am almost always right when it comes to problems between me and her. For a change I wish to be wrong. Can you tell me anything that might help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): I have a different perspective. Perhaps there are problems in the way you two communicate about issues in your relationship, for instance if you are a right fighter (it is important for you to be always right) then she is going to shut down on you and stop talking.
The fact that you are having "attacks" is concerning....whether due to stress or anxiety. You also may suffer from asthma and not even realize it. Do you have a persistant non-productive (non phlem producing) cough, are you short of breath or slightly wheezing, do you have seasonal allergies? Do you often seem depressed? I recommend that first you get yourself checked out at the doctor's for some of these symptoms, tell you doctor the recurrent thoughts and problems that are going through your head, and if you do end up having a condition, there are medications that can change your life and certainly change your attitude. Sometimes talking about relationship all of the time can drive your partner away.....
There isn't really enough information to determine what is going on here. The other thing you may want to ask her for is to go to couple's counseling to learn better communication and the right way to fight....a lot of times this is all it is, a bad form of communication.
Good luck and I hope all works out for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): Sooo...ask yourself "why am I wasting all these good qualities I posess on a person who not only doesn't appreciate them, but doesn't deserve them?"
Get back to me with your answer, and I will take it from there!
My point is, there are so many girls out there that would give anything for a guy like you! You're so young and sound like someone who has been married for 20 or 30 years. I suggest you re-evaluate your life and make some adjustments, before you end up with an ulcer or some sort of panic disorder! Obviously this girl is unwilling to meet your needs, but very much will to allow you to meet her needs! Think About It!
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (2 February 2009):
 it seems like you really love her , but it doesnt sound like she's trying all that hard to make the relationship work..she has no patiencce and she cant communicate with you, and you seem like a really gudd boy friend to her..but she's juss not returning the favor i think you deserve better
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