A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:alright. I've been with my girlfriend for just about 10 months now. The first 3 were great and and then as the months followed things started to get progressively worse. She became more distant and didn't really spend time with me. Now more recently she refuses to show affection to me, works all day and then goes out with friends after instead of hanging out with me. She will constantly ditch any plans we make and then when I get mad about it she flips out on me. We had a great sexual relationship but now things are gone, we have sex maybe 2 times a month and she always says "I'm tired", or "not in the mood". The obvious thing is to say shes cheating but shes not that kind of girl and I know that for a fact. I treat her like gold and get treated like shit in return. I don't want to lose her because when shes not being a complete asshole shes the best person to be around. Help
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help everyone. It's time I got out and did whats best for me
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (13 January 2011):
"I don't want to lose her because when shes not being a complete asshole shes the best person to be around"
well the problem is that most of the time she is being a complete asshole so if you stay in this relationship over time the negative interactions will start to weigh heavier and heavier on you and make you feel more and more crappy, yet the occasional rare moments when she's great will keep you hooked. Hooked enough that you will continue to stay in the relationship feeling crap 90% of the time, in hopes of feeling great 10% of the time. is this what you want?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): I think she no longer wants to be with you. Yes she could be cheating. don't be so confident that she's not, most people who cheat never dreamed they would ever do it.
even if she's not cheating, it sounds like she really just doesn't want to be with you anymore. maybe she's too afraid or guilty to initiate a break up and has just decided to treat you like crap so that you will initiate the break up.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (13 January 2011):
 When someone loves you, they'll dump everything to spend time with you. My favorite saying is that you want a woman who'll "Cross a burning desert to fetch you a glass of lemonade".
From your description, this girl is neglecting you. I can understand the long hours at work (sometimes it happens) but taking her friends over being with you? Where exactly do you fit in?
It's time to have a chat with her. Explain how you feel and that you are concerned that you aren't spending enough time together. Tell her that you feel like you are drifting apart and you don't want to lose her.
Then and most importantly, listen to her. Hopefully things will be more clear then. But if she isn't that into you, you'll have to make a choice -- a girlfriend that isn't really there as much as you'd like or the opportunity to find someone that wants to be with you all the time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): I'd ditch her! I wouldn't put up with her crap.
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