A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I were talking about fantasies. She said that she has always had a rape fantasy. I was a bit weirded out at first but we acted it out in the end. Now, she wants me to act out the rape fantasy again, except this time she wants to pretend that I'm her Father and she's my Daughter and I rape her 'other hole', if you get my meaning. I'm all for fantasies but isn't this one just a bit weird and taking it too far? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, freakalek  +, writes (3 April 2009):
I think that you're girlfriend is very sick right now. She shouldn't have a fantasie like that. I think you shouldn't had sex with her right now you need to sit down and talk to her. Make sure that she haven't been rape by her father or mother or anyone else. Before the matter end up real bad. Like saying for instance that you rape her for real you would want that. Try talking to her and getting her some help it's sound like to me that she been rape before for real and now she is use it as a fantasy have you talk to any one else about this matter because I think that this is really sick and to want to do it in the other hole I think that's gross how old are the both of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Well I think that If she just relax her self more when you all are doing it that maybe it wouldn't hurt her so bad. In so many ways she like it and another she don't because she can't get her grove on the way that she wants to. All she have to do is easy up and relax herself and get into the motion.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): This is an interesting one, my girlfriend is in her 40s and when we have sex she always tells me I am hurting her and she is to tight to take me and she she really seems to have problems when we rae having sex, she then begs me to stop and calls me daddy and uncle. She then loves me to come and tells me to come to her bedroom when mummy is asleep and she'll do things to me.
I think she had a good relationship with her parents but her father was distant. Sometimes I enjoy the fantasy??!! but sometime I want to just make love. She always starts normal but the lapses into the role of a little girl being forced to have sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): I'm all for fantasies, but can't we call this one something other than rape. Rape to me is something that is unwanted and that to me isn't good! Just my opinion. She should really seek someone to talk to about this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): You weirded out at first becoz you only know what the feminist education tells you about how a girl's mind works. But the truth is, rape fantasy is among the most common female fantasies. She isnt taking anything too far. Let me try to explain to you why a rape fantasy could appeal to a girl. A guy taking a girl against her will can mean that the girl is so irresistible and sexually desireable the guy couldnt control himself. Such a thought can be very flattering. Men mostly get turned on by what they see. On the other hand women get turned on by what they think. Often when a woman finds that she turns a guy on, that thought itself can turn her on. So a guy losing his control over her can be a huge turn on for a girl. Also society has made girls feel almost guilty for wanting sex. So if you are raped, it is not your fault. You are free of guilt for wanting sex. These things contribute to the rape fantasy. So be assured that she is not taking anything too far. All is fair in love and war.. and sex as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): I think with fantasies, you both need to be happy to commit, and it should be an experience both of you will enjoy, maybe not equally as much, but you do have to have some pleasure too. Speak to her about your concerns and be honest with her, tell her that your happy she wants some spice that fantasies can fulfill but if you're not happy with this particular idea you really need to speak your mind. Hope this helps, good luck!!
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (31 March 2009):
 I would sit her down and try to find out where these fantasies are coming from.
To me, this is a reflection of a desire to be controlled (obviously) by an absent father figure. Perhaps her own dad was distant or uninterested in what she did growing up, and her need for his guidance has manifested itself into a sexual desire. But psychoanalysis is not my strong suit.
Just remember that you do not have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Try to be honest but gentle with her. If this fantasy is stemming from some issue she had growing up, then the last thing you want to say is "No, that's too wierd, you're a freak!" to her. that will only serve to bring her down.
I think she should seek some counseling from a psychoanalyst so explore where these fantasies are coming from. It's not detrimental to her as an adult that she wants to act this out, but it could be a sign of problems from the past that were left unresolved and that need adressing.
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