A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i went to a party recently with a friend. As we got to the party, we met some friends and started taking pictures before we entered the place. One girl told me to kiss her on the cheek while taking the picture. I kissed on the cheek but not like I meant it. She posted the pictures on the internet the following day. My girlfriend saw the picture and got furious. She asked me so many questions that I felt were unnecessary. I'm generally a party animal. I often go out and take pictures with many people. My girlfriend has known me for 3 years. We've been together for 1 and a half. The thing that puzzles me is that my girlfriend says she knows me inside out. If she really knows me that well, then why does she complain about the kiss? I didn't mean to hurt her feelings or even think about it in any sexual way! I just took a picture with a friend and nothing more has happened. I'm her first serious boyfriend. She has never had a boyfriend before. I truly feel for her but I feel like she is making me look like a womaniser. She flirts a lot with boys and comes back telling me how so many boys are stalking her! To make it worse, a close friend of put her year book title as biggest flirt! I saw this but didn't complain. I never mention anything to her because I feel like its unfair since its her first relationship and it may hurt her feelings too much. We are both in our 20s. I want some advice on how to approach her and explain the whole thing because I've tried speaking to her and she is not believing a word and does not trust me whenever I'm out with friends. I can't stay with her if she is going to keep on going about the kiss!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): I have a similar situation with my boyfriend. I just found some pictures of him via his friend's website that was posted a year ago and they were taken during my boyfriend's birthday at a club. He went out with his friends and apparently took some pictures with a girl, she kissed him a few times on the cheek and one picture of him kissing her cheek. I got very upset when I first saw it because it's inappropriate since they seem to be quite comfortable and it's not just one picture. However, if he told me before I saw those pictures (if you take pictures, you need to understand they'll be public eventually regardless of them being posted on purpose or not) then maybe I wouldn't be caught off-guard with such images. My boyfriend said she's one of his friend's girlfriend and that they told her to give the birthday boy, which is him, a kiss and told him to kiss her back. We've been together for 7 years and this is the first time I've seen such pictures of him acting so comfortable with another female. The only picture that got me upset is the picture of him giving her a kiss on her cheek and not the ones that she kissed him. He said they were all drinking and that I should not take it seriously. So I understand why your girlfriend would be upset because you kissed the girl so it was your choice of action. The third person is never to be blamed because temptations are everywhere and it's up to you and your significant other to act accordingly so that you won't hurt each other. My boyfriend however said that he will go find more pictures during the party to show me that it was just innocent fun. I really don't care much about seeing more pictures to prove his innocence because the moment that he decided to give her a kiss on the cheek and not think of me and how I might be impacted, it would take some time to get over it. Since the picture was only "cheek" kissing, I'm not going to take it as serious as if I saw pictures of them making out. As for your girlfriend being the biggest flirt, it's not important unless you're hurt by it. If this is the first time you've taken a picture like this, then promise her it'll never happen again because if she's upset by it then she's hurt and if you love her then why would you do something that would hurt her especially when she tells you. Try to empathize with her, think of how you would feel if you saw a picture of her kissing a guy on his cheek when you could only imagine your cheeks being kissed by her. Good Luck :-)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): hey, i see your problem, but at the same time you have to look at it from her perspective. I know the kiss may have been all in fun, but in her eye's she feel's different. I guess you really just have to know your girl. Some things that may seem fine to you may not be alright for her. The best thing to do is talk to her and find out what she's feeling. hope everything works out
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Honey, to you it's an innocent kiss.
To her, it's an innocent kiss with a whole load of meaning behind it.
One night my bf was out, and he never drinks, but he got drunk. A girl came up to him and started kissing him. He backed away as soon as he could, but I still got upset. I knew it was not his fault and that he moved away, but I was so.. I don't know, mad. Upset. Disappointed.
This is a bit like your situation. You've got to sit her down and really explain it to her. She'll never be happy until she's heard the whole story from you. Not the whole story as in 'she wanted a pic with me kissing her cheek'. The actual story - with pointless bits of information in it too. Did you spend the night partying with her etc. Be honest about it, and tell her you're really sorry again and that it never meant a thing. If you feel the need, throw in some flattering comments like, "She doesn't compare to you in any way though babe, why would I like anyone else?" or something.
Hopefully, she'll see you're sorry and the kiss didn't mean anything. Good luck :]
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): I see where both of you are coming from here . YOu know it's just a friendly fun kiss NOTHING SERIOUS. And I can she how you say she's kinda being backwards because shes done stuff that you didn't really like and you didn't say anything and stuff but you but you gotta realize if this is her first realtionship maybe she's afraid of being cheated on ? explain to her that you didn't mean it and that NOTHTING happened and that you promiise you wud never cheat on her . After she accepts that maybe if you feel the need to tell her your feelings about the "biggest flirt" thing but be mellow and not mean about it .
I hope I helped and I hope everything works out for you
*~VG~*
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