A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,My girlfriend has trouble achieving an orgasm. She is 24 and has never had one so far although she has had quite a few partners.. I've also had a number of partners and after learning what they like have been able to make them orgasm every time through some foreplay and the right position during penetrative sex.Sex is good with her, we spend a lot of time at it, she says she really enjoys it and has a good appetite for it. The atmosphere is always relaxed with each other and I don't say much about her not coming, cos I don't want to put pressure on her.. I want to try to make her achieve the 'O' - for her not myself - if she can't then ok she can't but I'm going to try as much as I can!. She is slightly different though in a number of ways (1) she doesn't really like clit stimulation - she says it feels strange, sometimes she says it burns but then if I go more lightly she doesn't feel any stimulation at all. (2) maybe as a result of the above she dislikes spending much time on foreplay but still definitely gets wet enough for sex (3) she really likes her g-spot massaged either through sex or with a finger. She has ejaculated a lot and screamed a lot but nothing ever manages to push her over the brink.. (4) she doesn't like to masturbate and although she has a vibrator she doesn't like using it...I'd like to know if other women have had similar experiences like this and how they've managed..Thanks for any replies in advance.
View related questions:
ejaculate, foreplay, g-spot, orgasm, vibrator Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): Tisha-1 and Anonymous poster, thanks for both your replies. Anon, you give me some encouragement, reading other posters I had come to the same conclusion that she needs to be able to experiment herself. Tisha-1, no I haven't actually tried with a flat hand so I'll give it a go next time (which will actually be a little bit of time because we're going to be having a long distance relationship for a bit). I know that the brain has a lot of control over it... it does for guys too! ever experience that mid-sex droop with your man?! well the times its happened to me it has always originated from the brain lol!
Very much welcome any other thoughts, the more the better...
I am also assuming that just cos she has ejaculated doesn't mean she has come? I mean as a guy you know when you've achieved an orgasm (even if you didn't ejaculate), I assume for women its the same?
Thanks again.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 You sound like a very considerate lover, so I expect you've already tried this. Don't touch her clit quite so directly, use more of a flat hand with how do I say this, spread out pressure. I guess it's like PSI? Pounds per square inch? A stilleto heel can gouge out holes in the floor, while the same person in a flat shoe does no damage to the floor. So try keeping your hand flat and more above or oblique to the precise location of her clitoris. And a firmish pressure, not too hard where you're pressing her skin against the bones beneath it, but where the skin kind of slides around, moves around on top of the bones.
For many women, direct clitoral stimulation is too much to take, it does actually kind of hurt. So keep the hood over it and try broad, flat, firm hand movements. And obviously keep her relaxed. She may feel that pressure to orgasm and just thinking that she has to can be enough to destroy any chance of having one. That female brain can really get in the way of sexual pleasure!
Good for you, and good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): I had this problem myself. I'm twenty three and until about a few months ago I never experienced the big "O". Your girlfriend needs to experiment with herself and see what makes her feel better. This was she can guide you on where and how to touch. I been with my boyfriend for 8 years and when I started to explore my own body and tell him what to do I was able to experience my first orgasm. It takes time for her to get used to it. So you must be patient. You guys can try ussing her toy while havin sex just so she can feel more comfortable.nobody knows your body better than yourself. So she needs to over come the no touchin herself phase and start experimenting. I hope this can help. GOOD LUCK
...............................
|
