A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know how to take this news, but first i'm going to give a little background story.A girl proper fell for my friend about 3 years ago, and he really liked her too but they never got together.Then i started to feel asthough i was really in love with her this year but she wouldn't go ou with me because she still liked my friend, but he said he didn't like her any more and would step aside so i could get with her, so in the end she became my girlfriend.But her and my freind still stayed really close which annoyed me because i knew how much they liked each other in the past but she promised that she could never like him like that again.However, I went on holiday for a month, and she phoned me like everynight for the first week to tell me how much she missed me and that she loved me. But then she started going out with my friend more and another of his mates and they like tried to convince her not to be with me because i wasn't right for her, so then my friend asked her to leave me for him and i presume she must have been considering it at some point because we had an arguement on the phone over nothing and she broke up with me (at this point i knew nothing about the friend)So i said we would sort it out when i got home but i refuse to break up over nothing because nothing could have happened because i have been away.Then i carried on calling her every now and again to remind her that i still love her ect.And eventually she came back round to telling me that she loved and missed me but then seemed to get really upset on the phone and i didn't know why.So when i get home and see her again she bursts into tears and explains that she didn't want to tell me because she hates herself soo much for hurting me but the guilt was killing her and she doesn't want to lose me.But while i was away and we were kind of on a break she got fingered by the other boy but tried to stop him but obviously not well enough so theres no point in pointing that out and shes really sorry and she just couldn't stop crying so i just hugged her.I obviously still want to be with her because it took so much to get with her in the first place but how should i react to this??I really don't know what to do or how to take it? I'm just soo hurt.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, cuck counselor  +, writes (28 August 2008):
at your age it is not cheating it is discovering life.be happy and enjoy all your friends they will change and grow over time
A
female
reader, Shley919 +, writes (22 August 2008):
I know your hurt but you guys were technically on a break so was that really cheating? Even though your friend did like your gf before you guys started going out and vice versa, hes not really your friend if he would be trying to get her to dump you and mess around wit her knowing how strong of feelings you have for her. You need to really think about if its worth it and if youll ever fully get her heart seeing how she obviously never got over your friend. Maybe you need to let her go. If she comes back, then youll know. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, carol3232  +, writes (22 August 2008):
Well of course you are upset about this. But as i can see you still do have strong feelings for her becuase you say that it took so much to actually get her in the first place. Make sure that you are with her for the right reasons though. What do you like about her? Does she treat you right and make you feel good (excluding when she cheated) you know? Make sure your not with her just becuase you dont want to be alone and becuase she is pretty and those type of things. Cus in the end those things do not matter. But in her defense everyone makes mistakes and she made one. If she is honestly sorry about it then go ahead and give her a second chance, just that now you will have to start earning her trust.
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