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age
36-40,
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writes: First of all let me explain my story, it is a long one so please bare with me, i think without the entire story the advice wont be as easy to give out, I was stationed in Arizona for the Marines, I have been talking to a girl for a very long time and we ended up getting engaged, she moved out to arizona to live with me before i went on deployment and when she moved out to arizona from georgia she found out about my secret life on the west coast, that i was trying to get rid of; i drank alot and i cheated on her twice, and she found out when i was on a training mission and i came back to my apartment to find out she moved back to georgia, time went on and we didnt talk because she was devestated! i was a terrible person for the things i was doing and have since then began to change my life, i dont drink anymore i am completly done drinking, it has been almost 80 days since i have had a sip of alcohol, i dont look at girls the same way except for her, i know that she is the person of my dreams and when i went home before i left to go on deployment we hung out and we spent a bunch of time together, she began to notice me as a different person and we ended up kissing and spending every single waking hour with her that my parents ended up not getting to see me at all, so the time came when i had to leave and she asked if she could take me to the airport, so she drove me to the airport and when we left each other we told each other that we loved each other and we were bothing balling, i then left arizona to go on deployment and she told me on the phone that she loved me and her heart wanted me to change but her mind didnt think i would and she thought that i would mess up on deployment, i know that she loves me deep down but i dont want her love to run out on me, It has hard to have communication on the boat except for email and i have emailed her every single day i have been on the boat, i have sent her money to pay her bills, i have sent her presents to tell her how much i loved her and i have helped her out with money so she could pay her bills, she ended up going on a date when i was gone and she told me about it, she told me that i fucked her head up and she doesnt trust guys, i hurt me to hear it and i took it as best as i could and i didnt ask too many questions about it. We started talking back and forth on the email consistently and it made me so happy to hear from her on a consistent basis, we got into a conversation about an ex girlfriend of mine and i ended up lieing to her about it and i have been doing a great job but slipped up in a moment of weakness, i tell her every single day that i love her so much and i know that we are meant to be together, god has came to me and told me to hold and to not give up on her and i am not going to give up, i just dont want my lie that i told her about something in the past that doesnt even matter anymore to affect my efforts that i am trying so hard to fix right now, i have thought about just stop talking to her and if she really loved me that she would come back to me, but i am scared to do that because i truly dont know if she will come back to me, i am beggining to get worried about myself physically, i have gotten ulcers from the stress and i have lost alot of weight because i get stressed and worried and lose my appetite, i am so in love with this girl and i know if i stop talking to her it is going to bother me just as much! i know that she is the one for me and i love her so much i am just at a loss right now and i dont know what to do, she has a hard time trusting me! i am so stressed out right now! please help me! i dont know what to do and i dont want to give up because i know she is the one god put me on this planet for.
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reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 Geez Louise, Buddy, Calm down and take a deep breath! First of all you are away from each other so it makes communication even harder, nothing works better than face to face conversations so there's that factor adding to your discomfort. (By the way, thank you for your service to our country.) How long are you going to be on deployment? You are doing everything you can at this point to stay as close as you can with her. Now that you have your act together, and keep it together, she will be able to regain the trust. Keep communicating with her and stop sweating the stuff you can't do anything about at this point in time. If she truly loves you, and you behave yourself, your bad past will not resurface and the both of you will be looking a bright future together. Good luck and keep us posted.
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