A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:before i left my country to work abroad, the girl of my dreams became my girlfriend. it was tough having a long distance relationship. but somehow on the first few months we managed to cope with the situation. she's been telling me she loves me a lot, that he misses me a lot, that she will wait until i return home and she even agreed to marry me. we texted and chat very often. when we have problems we solve it right away. i admit, i am over protective. because of that she told me that i'm like controlling her life. but as usual we manage to talk it out. but this past few days, i noticed that she's becoming cold and i have a feeling that something is wrong. i asked her what was wrong. at first she doesn't want to tell me. then i persuaded her to tell me so that my worries will be gone. but then she told me that she wanted to break up with me. when i asked her the reason, she told me that i'm like choking her because of me overprotecting her. and also because i'm so far away from her. i asked her i she still loves me and if she still wanted me to be with her. she said yes. she wants to break up with me but she doesn't want to lose me. i'm so confused. i really love her. she wants me to stay but she doesn't want any commitment. what should i do? what does she really want from me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): maybe she just wants you to stop being so smothering to her.
or. Maybe she doesn't want to be with you but is afraid to be alone that's why she wants you to stick around until she can find someone better.
either way I think this relationship is pretty much over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): I don't know for sure what to advise but it would be too easy to give her the chance to have her cake and eat it too. Maybe you should suggest some time apart with no commitment so you can have the time to consider what you would like to do. Relationships long distance can be hard. It can also be hard for both people to be alone, but it might be better than wondering how to control things you cannot control. If you cannot be with her and you are wondering if she really is committed to you fully, maybe waiting is a good idea. But don't let her get away with the idea that YOU have to wait for HER, but not the other way around. You can always find another girlfriend if you need one. And she can learn to wait and be patient if she is willing to try.
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