A
male
age
36-40,
*Lilly08
writes:My girlfriend and I have recently broke up, and it's been affecting me greatly. I love her soo much and admire her as well, and it's destroying me that I don't have her anymore. I have recently felt guilty that I didn't do everything in this relationship that I could have done (kiss her, hug her, cuddle more) but believe me, she was and still is the most important thing to me. We have agreed to stay friends, but we both know that it will be hard and take some time. I have been crying the past few days, and even though I'm trying to get stronger, it doesn't seem to be working at the moment. How long should I wait before I call her again and see how she'd doing? I'm scared that if I call too soon, it will make matters worse; on the other hand, I don't want to wait too long because I want and need her in my life. Though I lost her as a girlfriend, I don't want to lose her completely. I'm willing to do anything to stay friends with her because she was and still is my best friend.
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male
reader, Cag Lee "Apollo" Adarma  +, writes (27 April 2007):
 Hey TLilly,dude thats rough. I know how it is when emotional love,admiration, friendship and sexual love intermingle- it can feel great but its usually something that we realise in retrospect, rather than in the moment.Firstly, there's no shame in tears. You cry because you feel and care.It would seem that the relationships dissolution was not weighted by your decision and, therefore, you attachment to her is still very strong and so it might be tough for you to be friends with her, even though you think you can be because you still want to be around her.You might have to face the fact that you can't be friends with her in the way you;d like, because you might always want her in that way, get jealous if she sees someone else, find conversations leading down the " we could've made it work" avenue.If you really want to be her friend you might want to consider not calling her. You might want to consider waiting for her to call you or waiting until you have a specific reason; a party or something, where it can be casual and as relationship neutral as possible.PEACE and GOD BLESSThe Capt
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