A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been dating for some time now and i asked her to marry me not too far back and she said yes, but now she says she can't deal with with having a boyfriend anymore. I dont know what to do last time this happend she slept with another guy and i dont want that to happen again. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (12 February 2007):
 You really need to get in front of her and find out what the problem is.
You say this has happened before.
You can bet there is once again something going on.
You just need to find out what it is and go from there.
Hope things work out for you both. Doc.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): If she can't deal with a relationship then there is nothing that you can do about it. Call off the relationship, after all she doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment.
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A
female
reader, staceyboxall  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Hiya...:)All depending on how long you and your girlfriend have been in a relationship, maybe things were going a bit to fast for her but she didnt realise it at the time. She might be in need of a little slowing down in the relationship. Talk to her and aske her why the sudden change of mind? It could be that she just needs a bit of space an time to think it through properly before she make such a big desision, getting married is a very big commitement and you need to make sure that you are 100% ready for it. xSx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 February 2007):
 It seems to me you're the more mature one in this relationship. You know how you feel about her and are ready to settle down with her, unfortunately she doesn't feel the same. She seems confused and even a bit overwhelmed by it all and is having second thoughts.
The best thing you can do is sit down with her and ask her exactly what she's looking for in the relationship. Tell her to be honest with you, you'd rather know than carry on, worse still, get married and find out it was all a terrible mistake (on her part anyway.) She needs to be honest with you and tell you her concerns. Be prepared though for her to say she wants a break and if that's the case you've got to respect her for that and give her the time out. Whether she sleeps with someone else during that break is entirely up to her but at least you'll know she's did YOU a favour in the long run.
Much better to find out she was the wrong one for you NOW than a few years down the line when you're married and miserable.
Eve
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