A
male
age
36-40,
*arlord
writes:hi guys.... i am in love with a girl for 5 good years, and its a miracle because i have not met this girl in person. we used to talk on the phone and exchange pics. first let me point out ma girls qualities1. she is an angel from her qualities2. her love towards me is beyond words3. she respects me a lot next to her dad, she doesn't even call me by ma name. she calls me hubby. she thinks its even disrespectful to call ma name.4.she never ever looks at another guy, because she thinks that god will take revenge on her by making me hate her, and she says she will get insane if that happens5.she is very much understanding, never hurt ma feelings,respects ma parent a lot.6.she would start to shed tears even if i sound dull through the phone. We fell in love with each other by exchanging our feelings through the phone." and after 3 years I asked her pic, and I did not find her pretty. After that I broke up with her by giviing dumb reasons but felt miserable without her love and went back to her. Her looks are average but her qualities and her love towards me are exceptional. I am confused. She doesn't want to meet me until there is a legal bond between us cuz we are Muslims. There are certain customes we should follow.I think it isn't fair to reject a girl because she doesn't have a models look. I am confused, I love her very much. Please guys clear up the mess in my mind.
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broke up, fell in love, muslim, revenge Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (13 November 2009):
 The best way to gain respect with your parents is by being honest with them.
Tell your mum / dad / uncle (a family member who you feel understands you the most) and explain you have met a girl from a similar background and who you know is a good girl and who you would like to marry as you both have things in common.
Tell the family you wont be interested in marrying anyone else.
Tell them that age does not matter to you (you can use the example of prophet who married his wife kadijah who was 20 years older than him -and they were very happy).
I am sure once you have an answer for all their questions your parents will be ok, ultimately they have your best interests at heart.
Goodluck!
A
male
reader, Warlord +, writes (13 November 2009):
Warlord is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot bro and sis, i really do appreciate your words.i want to add some crucial points to my question. i am the only child in ma family and my parents are very much fond of me , they love me very very much . i was born after 10 yrs and that makes things worse ,my parent are very much concerned about my activities ,behavior ,education and friends.they do not want me to go astray and ruin my life.they gave me the best education possible and all the comfort one could imagine of. i am the soul owner of all their assets worth millions. recently they came up with an argument saying they have all the rights to choose my marriage partner and i do agree ,they have given me the best of everything... my question is how can i tell em about my lover and get their consent??? i am only 22 and my girl is 21 ,in our culture there should be n age gap like 5 to 7 yrs between the partners.i need ma girl as my wife inshaallah. i love her very much n i need her in ma life. help me guys. i cant hurt my parents feelings and at the same time i cant hurt ma gals feelings. i am stuck in no mans land.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (13 November 2009):
Its nots fair to reject a girl just because she is not your ideal of a beauty.
I am sure god will think her as being very beautiful because she has a good heart.
You need to remember looks will fade with age, but the real beauty is in the heart of someone.
If she makes you happy then you should 100% stick with her and not act cowardly just because you think she is not stunning.
Of course attraction matters so in this case you could advise her once you are married to wear certain clothes, makeup, to enhance her beauty for you because she may just prefer the simple look for now.
In any case you have declared you love her so you have answered your own question: stick with her!
Hope this helps
Goodluck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): if you fell in love with this wonderful woman without seeing her then that is surely all you need! this love seems like something from a fairytale and i really envy you for having such a beautiful love for eachother.
as for this womans looks, does it really matter? you dont fall in love with people for their looks, you have already proved this! it is this womans love for you, her angelic presence and your future together that you should love... looks are just an added bonus and in time you will actually see that this woman looks beautiful too.
i wish you all the best
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