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male
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anonymous
writes: Im currently 18 years old, my girlfriend is 17. I know what love feels like, and I am very much in love with her. I was not happy for the first part of our relationship because I was not over my previous girlfriend, but after some closure I fell deeply in love with her. Prior to dating me her ex boyfriend and her had been broken up for abouth a month, she said she was fine to date again so we proceded with our relationship. He was her first love or so to say. While we were dating he left for boot camp, and visited her on her birthday. He knew he wouldn't see her for 5 months and tried to kiss her, she told him she couldn't. He gets back from bootcamp in two weeks or so. My girlfriend told me she needed some space and time to figure things out, she told me she is not over him and loves him very much still. She also told me she realized she does not love me, and she is very unhappy.I want her to be happy, and if that means I get my heart broken I can accept that, but this guy was very bad to her.I would like to be with her, but im not sure if its possible, I have no idea what to do.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (30 September 2006):
 Let her go! If she loves you she will come back. Alternatively you may lose her altogether but I think you may already be losing her so not much more you can lose by doing this.
We all get into the situation where we love and they don't return them feelings however much we want to make them love us we can't and letting go is the only way she will realise where her heart lays, this may just be a case of he is away, she is missing him therefore confusing her feelings.
You've got to ask yourself no matter how much you love her could you be with someone that doesn't and may never love you back?
No matter how bad her ex was to her that doesn't stop the love for them continuing, and I feel if you don't let her go and she chooses to stay with you as you are the 'better' option she will probably never get over him, her feeling for him then forever being in the way of your relationship.
Good luck, hope this helped :o)
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (29 September 2006):
 I don't think you have much of a choice in this matter. Whether he treated her bad or not she loves him and she's not happy with you. GIve her the space and time and you move on. I think you're going to have to come to the conclusion that you were a rebound guy. I mean she was only broken up with him for a month before dating you. If you love someone thats not enough time at least not in my eyes. She has been straight forward with you and you should thank her for it. Give her time to heal. You never know what could happen. This doesn't mean to wait around for her but this means if you love her then let her go. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2006): Your girlfriend is obviously very confused. To be honest, it is very unfair for her to be still having a relationship with you when she knows how deep her feelings still are for her ex boyfriend. I think the best thing you can do in this situation is back off a little. I'm not saying finish her altogether, but give her some space and a lot of it so she can think about who it is she truly wants. If you stay with her, you could end up really hurt because she is still confused about her feelings.
I would just suggest to your girlfriend that you think it is best if you have a little bit of time apart until she figures out what and who she really wants. But don't wait around forever while she is making up her mind, this way your 100% guaranteed to get hurt! Have a little bit of breathing space and see what happens. If it is you she truly wants, then she will come back to you. I know it's hard, but have some time apart to think, and see what happens.
Good luck and take care
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