A
male
age
30-35,
*geek
writes:ok.......my girl and I started going out like a week ago were both 17 and I absolutely love her. We get to hang around a bot and so on She smokes....I generally don't mind people smoking cause in my opinion if they wanna kill themselves thats their problem........but I cant think that way of her......she says that she has been trying to stop.....I'm not really sure if she is or not but I wanna find out if their is a way I could help her stop or convince her to try harder to not smoke......I'm just worried about her well being.....considering she has asthma and she smokes on top of that.It worries me a ton.....and there is a very limited amount I get to see her outside of school cause I live 15 miles out of town(where she lives)Feedback is muchly appreciated......thank you....
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): Honestly, please try not to badger this girl. It's clear that it worries you, and I can understand that, I've had asthamtic friends smoking 20 a day. However, I'm a smoker myself, and I know being told to stop irritates the hell outta me and just makes me want to smoke more. You need to be subtle about this one, just let her know from time to time it worries you because of her asthma, and not because you hate to see her smoking (not saying you said that, just that it might come across as such to her!).
Try the occasional joke (like "SMOKER'S COUGH!") when she coughs, it might seem in bad taste unless you and she have the right sense of humour, but boy does it really make you understand how that coughing can get so much worse!
In the end though, nicotine is like any other drug: people will only stop when -they- want to stop, not when you tell them to, and all you can do is encourage them when they get there.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (10 December 2007):
 well mate you already said it yourself. If people wanna harm themselves its their problem. As i smoker and from what others tell me it is really annoying when people preach to you the dangers of it, and it makes you resent them or just hide the fact you smoke. As kenny said you can show her the dangers but start to nag and she may resent you, but its for her on good anyway, but be careful ho you tell her, as shoot the messenger may ome into play here.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (9 December 2007):
 I don't think that you can actually tell her to stop because its her choice if she wants to smoke. All you can do is offer her advice, has she tried patches, maybe if she went on these it may slowly ween her off of them. Pull some literature off the net on other ways to give up, and i believe there is even a quit smoking help line too. It would not hurt for her to see the state of what a heavy smokers lungs look like, or to see what a smoking related disease can do to someone.
All the best
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