A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend shouts at her daughter when she's been bad. As you'd expect her daughter ends up crying. I don't like it either. I'm not a parent but if I ever think she's not behaiving I turn her TV off or something like that and try my best to stay calm. I've told my girlfriend this and she agree but can't keep her temper. Is there anything you can think of that I could say to her daughter to help her deal with it when her mum shouts?And an unrelated question; she skinny but never stops asking for food. Is this normal for a 10 year old girl or is she just bored and comfort eating or something? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Kids, they drive you up the wall, and there isnt a text book to follow to help you either. If you are not a parent then it is hard for you to understand as you are standing on the outside looking in. Dont have a go at your gf infront of her child, that is not on. Just say that more could be achieved if she stayed a bit more calmer, but i have three kids and i have shouted at all of them at some point in their lives. It isnt easy. Is your gf very young? Was she a young mother when she had the child? Sometimes we have them very young when we are just kids ourselves, me included and we are growing up with the very kids that we produce, so we go through these stages. Just try and get it across that you love her and you support her.
take care
xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): Come on.There is not one single parent here who has not yelled at their child.Scar them for life? I think NOT.Kids occasionally need a good wallop with the wooden spoon to keep them in line. My mum used to and believe me I soon learned not to be naught around her if I could help it.But yelling and physical punishment is to be used only as a last resort when other avenues have been exhausted. And I can tell you the naughty corner works for a short period.Never EVER let a child rule the roost.The parent rules the child and the house. Not the rpther way around. Make sure the kid realises that the mother is boss and her orders must be obeyed or they will be punished... na the punishments will get progressively harsher the more they disobey.Flynn 24
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): The second question seems easier than the first. I think that she is just constantly growing and so that's why she keeps asking for food.
Personally she sounds like my mom. Maybe when she gets that way you could just take her daughter outside and talk to her about what her mom is mad about. From experience, I know that when someone starts yelling, etc. or getting a temper, the environment in that place eventually becomes such that a person doesn't feel like being there, which is why I suggest taking the daughter out of the house and talking to her, and if she is yelling outside, stop her and ask her to figure out what is she so mad about. It sounds demeaning, but isn't she demeaning the child in her own way?
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (28 January 2008):
 maybe she has a high metabolism (daughter) or maybe mother and daughter need thyriod checkups with a doctor (temper and skininess). also she may be entering puberty and going through growth spurts-make sure the food she eats is healthy or the hunger will never be satisfied (i.e seewts and crisps will never fill you)
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